Depressing Marriage? Here are 3 quick ways to beat the marital blues. You can spark things up in your heart and marriage before the sun sets.
Marriage can be downright depressing.
Maybe some people come to marriage with the skills I took a life time to acquire, but I don’t know those folks. Since we trust marriage to bring us into a loving, intimate relationship, there’s nothing worse than depressing marriage when it isn’t functioning well. Yet, all marriages hit lonely patches. Instead, though, we all want a marriage that’s fun and full of fellowship. Countless young brides have looked at me in bewilderment and said, “But he wasn’t like this when we were dating!” Well, no he wasn’t. Often our friends don’t like to admit they’ve run out of ideas and feel depressed about the state of their union.
Depressing Marriage? A Little Blue
“I feel a little blue,” we may say, but this is not the something borrowed, something blue we anticipated when we walked down the aisle!
“I think it is wrong of women to put on make up and get all dressed up when they are dating, then get sloppy after the wedding,” said a dear friend of mine. He and his wife of over 40 years always looks fashionable and pulled together.
“I agree with you, except for one thing,” I replied, “Not once when we were dating did David ever suggest we just stay home and watch television.”
“Oh, I never thought of it that way,” he laughed. He and his wife have been together so long, their fashion choices often match. He swears it’s because she picks out all his clothes. Personally, I just think they are a match made in heaven, but even they had to apply some strategies to their marriage.
No need to lose hope, even if your husband wears a tie that clashes with your dress. Here are 3 quick ways to beat marital blues and spark up a little gentle companionship.
#1 A Dream Day
Make a list of what your dream day looks like. Now, make a parallel list of what you think his dream day might include. Do any of your dream activities overlap? Make immediate plans to do the overlapping things soon, if you have any overlaps. If not, ask him at dinner to check your work and correct anything in his column you may have forgotten. Hopefully, this should spark up a lively and informative conversation.
#2 A Prayer Focus
Set aside 15 minutes to focus quietly on what God wants to do in the life of your husband. I set the alarm on my phone to remind me. Prayerfully ask God to remind you why you married your guy in the first place. Can you still see the underlying character and strength of the man you married? I hope you can, but no matter what, don’t lose heart. There is hope. Don’t be too spiritual about your reasons for marrying him in the first place either. Was he handsome? A hard worker? A great dancer? Go ahead and acknowledge any little things that come to mind.
Next, you can pray for yourself, too. I do it all the time. “Lord have mercy,” may be my favorite prayer ever! Seriously though, ask God for what you really want.
Then, choose a weekly time to ask God how He can use you to accomplish His purpose in your marriage. Each week, write down a few ideas and check back with God same time, same place to begin a watchful prayer vigil for your marriage. Answers to prayer are much easier to spot when we actually pray them!
#3 A Warm Welcome
As you walk in the door tonight after work, speak one thing about your husband to him that blesses you. Perhaps, a little something that you don’t usually think to mention comes to mind. At dinner, speak another. At bedtime, a third. Do this for one week. If within a week, he isn’t returning the favor by expressing his thankfulness for you more frequently, please write me. I want to help you think of more strategies to test at your house.
We All Need Strategies
Depressing marriages can go from lonely to fellowship-filled with a few simple strategies. The transformation is all in figuring out what will work for your marriage. If you have any tips or strategies that spark up the fellowship at your house, I hope you will share them at Camp Krafve for us all to enjoy. Its like sharing recipes and then tweaking them to create our own personal family favorites. Instead of food, we are rustling up fellowship in our marriage.
May I pray for you?
Please bless this dear reader who is feeling blue today about her marriage. We all have moments when we feel out of energy for the things we believe You want us to experience. Yet, Your tender and strong Spirit searches out the person whose heart belongs to You that You may give Your full support to Your beloved child. May this dear reader rest in the companionship and comfort that Your presence gives. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Cathy Krafve, Texas Author, Columnist, Speaker, and Radio Personality, specializing in Christian Marriage and Family invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.