This morning, in a flash of brilliance, I realized my old insecurities have been replaced by new ones.
Worry reminds me of the way advertisers repackage their toilet bowl cleaners. Like the new and improved version of a product nobody actually enjoys buying, my new doubts and fears are just a repackaged version of the old insecurities I thought I conquered.
We all have insecurities, right? Please, tell me this isn’t just me being my neurotic self!
Worry Pop Up Everywhere
Worry and our insecurities are closely related. When I was a young mom I worried. Would my kids be scarred for life by my insecurities? (No, my kids are really amazing, often in spite of me.) Was it possible to avoid teen rebellion? (Teenage rebellion turned out to be nothing more than a well-managed, normal transition that went very smoothly, with a lot of prayer, thank you very much.) Could I find strategies that worked for my family and marriage? (Yes, I found lots of strategies that work in scripture and by paying attention to wise people around me.)
We tend to worry about the outcomes we want to control. Still, with discipline, insecurity can be replaced by a permeating sense of security. In fact, there are lots of strategies that work well to provide peace of mind and confidence.
Miraculous Cure For Insecurities
Of course, this morning’s light bulb moment flashed as my heart churned through the needs of each of my seven grandchildren and their parents. Phew! That’s a lot of people I love. We all know we can’t control outcomes for those we love. On the other hand, don’t we want happily-ever-afters for them anyway? My prayer auto-settings revert to worry every time I lose focus.
My latest claim to fame is the astounding good fortune of getting seven grandchildren in less than 3 years. The seventh is “in utero,” as my obstetrician dad used to say; that is, the baby is on the way as I write. My goodness, that’s 12 people on my priority prayer list and that’s just the short list!
Driving to work, I rehearse my usual prayer routine. Miraculously, my worries for them are transformed into prayer requests.
Then, suddenly, the injustice of life hits me. Because, praying, I just move onto the next thing I tend to worry about! How in the world can it be fair that after all these years, Lord, I still have insecurities? I guess God is used to my questions by now.
Here’s the bottom line: I need your help.
I finished the manuscript for the book on creating fellowship in marriage, The Gentle Art of Companionship. Now, I want to start the next one on creating fellowship with kids. But, there’s no point in writing if no one wants to read the book when I finish. I’m so insecure I’m not sure what to write first. That’s my other big worry right now.
Your questions would help me a bunch. I hate to waste time spewing irrelevancies. My insecurities tell me I can’t possibly know the right stuff. Me? No way!
No Such Thing as a Dumb Question
If you’re just starting out, are you looking for better ways to parent? Ever wonder why my generation did things a certain way? Are you a grandmother, like me, wondering how you can help your kids without getting on their every last nerve? Perhaps, you need new strategies because growing up in a dysfunctional family undermines your confidence now. Our questions, and yes, our worries, reveal our hearts, the stuff we really care about. So, there’s no such thing as a dumb question.
Please help me by sending me your best, hardest questions. I will find people who can give us great ideas and strategies to try out together on this parenting journey. All questions sent to firstname.lastname@example.org will be confidential, unless you specifically share a story you want me to pass along. I’m a big believer in borrowing as much wisdom as I can get!
Thank you for Being Awesome
Thank you for reading this far. You are amazing. Speaking truthfully about our own insecurities encourages others. The best stories happen in families. Yep, by best I do mean all the most awkward and embarrassing stuff. That’s what makes family so hilarious!
May I pray for you?
Dear Father in heaven, You are the One who designed families. Some of what happens in families is hilariously goofy and some stuff is painful beyond words. So, we arrive before You with our own bundle of insecurities. Today, this dear reader carries burdens that seem overwhelming at times. Please bless this dear one with Your comfort and help. Teach us to miraculously trade worry for prayer. Open our eyes to the moments when You answer our prayers. We offer You our thanks now, even when we don’t know the answer yet. Thank You, dear God. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Cathy Krafve, Texas Author, Columnist, Speaker, and Radio Personality, specializing in Christian Marriage and Family invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.