Sparking Wholeness’ Erin Kerry coaches us to restore balance in our lives. But how do we bring together our body, brain, and emotions in a healthy way? Personally, I always want more time and energy for my real priorities.
Obviously, stress and anxiety can sneak up on us all. Throw in an unexpected crisis, like a sick family member, and the cliff of depression looms large. How do we restore balance in our lives?
Her own challenges following a childhood trauma prompted Erin to develop the acronym, L.I.V.E. to describe the way balance ripples out to spark wholeness and well-being.
Mental Health in Families
We all want balance, well-being, and wholeness in our own hearts and in our families.
“We’re all gonna be at risk for mental health issues at some point,” she explains. Whether you’re living with hormonal teenagers, just gave birth, or caring for aging parents, she’s got a good point.
She likes to tell how her husband married her with no prior background in mental health. Even then, Erin was already learning to manage the bipolar disease triggered by childhood trauma. (Erin’ tenderly shares her personal story of finding balance in spite of bipolar here.)
“Sleep is number one,” she says, adding, “if you’re sleeping too much that can also be a problem.”
Sleep and a Mini-Breakdown
However, planning a wedding cost her sleep, prompting a mini-breakdown while they were engaged. Fortunately, he sought excellent advice from a wise marriage counselor. Her husband is a marriage counselor now himself.
“I gotta add that in. He’s a licensed professional counselor,” she laughs, “It’s kinda fun. Yeah, that happened. He went to get his counseling degree and license. All that after we got married. But at first, he had no idea!”
For that and many other reasons, Erin’s passion now is to share good information even before people need it. Here are the basics of her L.I.V.E. acronym. But PLEASE listen to the podcast, too, because Erin is so knowledgable. Plus, fun and fascinating!
L.I.V.E.
L = Learn to Manage Stress
“Stress and chronic stress is more toxic than any food,” reports Erin. “Your body knows what to do with sugar; your body is going to process it.” Obviously, there are exceptions, like Type 1 Diabetes, she adds. “But that chronic stress toxicity, for many of us, our bodies think we are running from a tiger 24-7.”
I asked Erin if anxiety and stress are the same thing.
“What’s really important is our body doesn’t know the difference between a real threat or a perceived threat,” she answers. “I know when I’ve had times of anxiety, the things I’m anxious about are things that are not even things that are going to happen. But our body’s going to respond the same way.”
The result? “Our body’s gonna shut down immune function, reproductive systems, digestion. Again it’s that whole gut-brain connection we can’t count out,” she says.
How Do We Manage Stress?
The mind-body connection is strong, according to Erin. Is your boss a bully? Is your child acting out? Does your spouse fail to listen to you? All can produce stress and anxiety. (Find more on creating healthy relationships through good communication.)
“It’s gonna catch up with you. Your body is going to express discomfort from that in some way,” she says.
So how do we manage stress? Learn to breathe, learn to meditate, find some quiet. Erin likes being outside and putting your bare feet in the grass, for a practical example of how to get centered.
I also like to Pause, Ponder, Pray, and then Proceed judiciously. Proceeding judiciously may include setting some boundaries or having conversational adventures with those you love. (For over 40 easy strategies for better conversations, check out The Well: the Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations.)
Identify Root Causes
“Mental health symptoms are often the result of some kind of internal or external environmental imbalance,” Erin says.
She sites Celiac Disease and thyroid issues as examples of imbalances that can spiral out of control with the wrong treatments.
“So many people are struggling with mental health issues and they’re being put on anti-depressants and anti-psychotics and all these things. But really they just can’t tolerate gluten,” she reports. “They have Celiac. That’s a big deal. How many women are struggling with thyroid?”
Erin extols the virtues of good doctors who can benefit patients with a well-rounded perspective. Food allergies, mold in your house, vitamin deficiencies; all can contribute to mental imbalances. I hope you search out alert professionals who factor in all issues along with considering medical tests before prescribing.
“If your diet is junk, you’re gonna feel like junk,” adds Erin, continuing her list of root causes that impact our mental well-being. “I’m all about food freedom, that’s a mindset thing, too. A body in stress is not going to digest.”
She says our body keeps score. “If you’re in stress and you’re on a perfectly healthy diet, your body is still not going to digest food well.”
V = Variety
“A lot of people are used to eating for diets, but I want to get people out of that mindset,” says Erin. “We are eating for mental clarity. So, we can have the energy to do all the things God has called us to do, right?”
Eating For Mental Clarity? Oh, I really like that! For mental clarity, Erin recommends variety on our plate.
“We don’t want to have the same thing every day. It’s not good for us mentally and it’s not any fun,” she laughs. “Nobody wants to do that. And it’s not good for our gut microbiome either.”
Since our conversation, I’ve been counting the fruits and veggies on my plate.
“Ultimately, it would be awesome if you could have twenty-five different fruits or vegetables throughout a week,” she says. Of course, I groaned. Are there even 25 fruits and veggies I like?
Twenty-five Veggies?!
“I know it sounds crazy,” she laughs. “But if you’re adding a little bit of kale and spinach in a smoothy in the morning with a banana, well, that’s three right there. So at lunch, you have some salsa. We’re in Texas, we love our salsa. What does salsa have in it? Tomatoes, garlic….”
I was relieved to discover salsa counted as fruits and veggies. Turns out, it is pretty easy to get five on my plate at each meal.
“I’m all about surprising your gut microbiome, trying different things,” she laughs. She suggests asking a couple of questions as you prepare to eat.
What nutrients am I feeding my brain today? What is going to make me feel awesome in two hours?
“No one needs to feel guilty or shameful about what they’re eating,” adds Erin.
Besides, I know from experience taking on false guilt and shame is stressful!
E = Exercising Your Body and Your Brain
Okay, I admit it. I LOVED what Erin said about mental exercise. Why? Because I’d much rather exercise my mind than my body. So, this means I automatically get a victory even before I push back from my desk and move.
“Oftentimes, when we talk about exercise, we’re just talking about our body. That’s great,” Erin says, but then she adds a little inspiration for aging word nerds, like me. “Movement creates brain drive neurotrophic factor which regenerates the brain cells we need as we’re aging.”
I looked up neurotrophic. It has to do with the influence of nerves on the nutrition of tissue. Hmm, clearly my brain needs more cells to understand medical vocabulary.
Is this gal sharp or what? She tailored her comments to my needs effortlessly as we talked. All the while, she included advice we all can take to heart.
“Where you feel at home in your body, that’s where we want to go.” For instance, when it comes to moving our bodies, she recommends moving in whatever ways make you feel good. Whatever you can do comfortably, like walking, do that.
The Exercise of Stillness
Exercising our bodies and brains includes another important piece, according to Erin.
“We’ve got to practice times of stillness. We’ve got to sit in quiet meditation. Be still. Pray. Go outside without your phone and stare at a tree,” she laughs. “It’s amazing how good staring at a tree will make you feel. Lately, I’ve just been obsessed with trees.”
My mom would love to know researchers currently focus on how trees on our well-being. (For more about the soothing effects of trees, check out Artist Lisa Horlander and her beautiful work with trees.)
The Brain-Gut Connection
Stress is a big trigger for poor gut health, according to Erin.
“That’s gonna affect our brain health,” she reports. “If our brain continues to be unhealthy, then that’s gonna affect our gut. So, it’s really just a circular pattern. Learning about that was completely life-changing for me.” (She explains in much more detail in our podcast above or at Fireside Talk Radio.)
Eighteen years after childhood trauma, Erin was finally able to get off the meds first prescribed for her as a child. It’s been over six years ago now. Learning to L.I.V.E. with restored balance produced amazing results in her life. No wonder Erin now passionately shares what she knows.
The Struggles For Balance
What about when someone you love seems to be struggling with mental health issues? How do we as amateurs respond? Can we express our compassion without making things more stressful?
Often, official diagnoses may overwhelm the person, especially facing a chronic challenge. Certainly, grief is a natural part of the process when people struggle with mental illness, according to Erin.
“I think you have to grieve. I think the person being diagnosed is feeling all sorts of feelings about it. There might be some grief there,” explains Erin.
She turns to the Book of Job for how friends can respond to mental health crises. Honestly, I always thought of Job’s friends as a great example of what not to do. But Erin has a good point.
The Comfort of Together
“His friends weren’t always on the right track but they did sit with him for seven days,” she laughs. “They sat with him and were quiet for seven days without saying a word.”
Since there’s no “one size fits all” with mental health, Erin says showing up without judgment is what counts. Mental illness manifests differently for everyone. (If you want– or NEED– more help from Erin, contact her at Sparking Wholeness or me now. Or sign up for my FREE info as soon as I post each week.)
“For the person suffering, you have to be okay with people not getting it,” she clarifies. “You have to accept that not everybody is going to get what we’re going through. But our heavenly Healer will. That’s why faith is such an important part of all health.” (Find out more about how much God loves you and seeks you out here.)
God Rejoices Over You
Erin quotes Zephaniah for comfort as we all seek balance, seeking “Nutrition for Mind, Body, and Soul,” as she calls it.
The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”
~Zephaniah 3:17
Yep, God delights in us, wherever we are, no matter what we’ve gone through. We all struggle to believe we are fully loved by Him. Yet it’s true. For those living with mental health challenges in their families, Erin is clear.
“He delights in you and He loves exactly who you are, how you are right now in this moment,” she concludes.
❤️ You are delightful to me, too! I am grateful for YOU!! ❤️ Keep reading for prayers, questions, and more fun stuff!
🙂
cathy
Truth with a Texas Twang
P.S. YOU are Invited to Join the FUN!
Our Book Launch Team is such a source of encouragement and support, not to mention PRAYER. The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations is taking off! Stories already get back to us of lives changed ONE conversation at a time!! Go God!
Woohoo! We are only weeks away from the release of our second book: Marriage Conversations: From Coexisting to Cherished releases really SOON! Yay! Please help us by joining our BOOK LAUNCH TEAM.
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Hands Full? Brooke will be in Texas. Yay!
As if the Marriage Conversations news wasn’t wonderful enough, I have more to share with YOU!
Author and friend Brooke Frick is coming to Texas, and YES, my house! I can hardly wait to spend a few days with this amazing mommy to five adorable hands-full kids. Don’t miss this chance to snag Brooke for your Sunday school class, church, or book club! Contact her here.
They are spending a year in their RV, so we know she’s awesome, and really down-to-earth!
May we pray together?
Dear Good Father in heaven, thank you for wise young women in my life. I’m so grateful for the way Erin’s words are already changing my attitude about food and mental clarity. Keep us mindful of those around us who may be suffering at any moment with stress, anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges. Help us be alert when imbalance threatens to disrupt our well-being and wholeness. Guard us all in safety and keep my friend Brooks and her family safe in particular. Teach us to claim stillness. Bless our families because that is Your heart’s desire. In Jesus’s name, we pray. Amen.
We LOVE to hear from YOU!
What stressful challenges are you facing? How do you set aside quiet for stillness in your soul? What topics would you like to hear on Fireside Talk Radio in the coming months?
Cathy Krafve, Speaker, Blogger, Podcaster, and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. We welcome your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.
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