Time to reflect has to be the silver lining in self-quarantine. Right now it the perfect time to reflect on what you bright future might look like with a few small changes. Last week I promised we would bring Toie Martin back to nail down her five steps to positive change.
“Once I say them, you’re going to say, ‘dah,’” she jokes. But, honestly, I learned a ton from this gifted teacher, business consultant, speaker, and trained nurse.
Toie noticed the five steps underlying all change while she was implementing Lean Six Sigma in multimillion dollar companies overseas. This came after her successful career in the nursing profession; first in patient care, then in health management.
The Universal Blueprint for Change
In fact, when I joked about Alcoholics Anonymous needing Twelve Steps, she responded by saying even the Twelve Steps break down into her five steps.
She claims all change breaks down to five steps and names several programs as examples, including Simon Sinok’s Start With Why and Shawn Achor’s The Happiness Advantage.
“Having five steps takes away some of the scariness of change,” she adds. She sees her five basic steps as the blueprint behind all change.
Ready for Positive Change in Your Life?
Last week, Toie shared about abruptly quitting her job. (You can find that interview, here. For a link to her book, click here.) Her story is very inspiring especially if you think it’s time for a change yourself.
“One of the most important things to remember is our brains naturally resist change, no matter how good or bad it is,” explains Toie, “That fear is our brain’s survival mechanism.” Our brains want to keep us safe and secure, according to Toie, so the first big hurdle is recognizing the fear.
“Self-doubt sabotages most dreams and goals before they even get off the ground,” she adds. (For easy tips about raising confident girls, click here.)
All positive change involves getting past our own self-sabotage. We have to put aside our natural fear, self-doubt, and self-defense, she says.
Tattoos and Taking a Breath
Two things are true about change based on her years of nursing.
“First, all tattoos change over time no matter where you put them on your body,” she laughs. “And we all take a first breath and a last breath.” She says what happens between those two breaths counts. (For insight about caregiving for aging parents, click here. For help with caregiving in your home, click here.)
No one’s life should consist of joylessly living paycheck to paycheck.
“When you’re doing the work you’re supposed to be doing and you’re passionate about it, things just fall into place. You can’t explain it,” she laughs.
Five Steps Underlying All Change
Here are Toie’s five steps to leading yourself and others with confidence, courage and grace:
- First, realize that you need or want to make a change. Define the problem and start seeing the possibilities.
- Figure out where you’re starting from. Start from where you are.
- Figure out where you want to go.
- Figure out how you’re going to get there. What’s the path between where you are and where you want to go.
- Fifth and final step answers an important question. How do you stay there?
Our Overloaded Brains
Modern people take in five times more information than 50 years ago. Virtually every aspect of our lives is a distraction now, according to Toie. (For fun tips on encouraging your children to be flashlight readers, click here.)
“If you think about our poor little brain up there chugging away trying to process all this information,” she laughs. “When we don’t stop to process, all that stuff tends to run around like a squirrel on a wheel.” When we can stop and reflect it gives our brain a chance to process, she adds.
How do I really feel about this? Is this important with me? Is this worth the fight? Do I really want to pick this battle?
“To take the time to dream about what you want to do is a big, big step,” she says. Self-work and reflection are an important part of the equation. Ask yourself, how you want to spend your time, money and energy.
More Like a Roadmap Than a Blueprint
The five steps for change are just like the way we read a map, according to Toie Martin.
“When you say those words,’We need to change,’ the heart automatically starts palpitating. The main thing is what I discovered is knowing where I want to create change. The key is ‘we.”
When we travel, though, no one complains about change. Having a map is just part of a fun process.
First, we decide we want to take a trip. Next, we note where we are. Then, we decide where we want to go. We choose a route. Last, we make plans about where to stay once we get there.
The five steps of change are as simple as reading a map, says Toie. She points out we already have the skills we need. (To sign up for our free weekly encouragement for your life’s journey, click here.)
“What’s crazy is those first three steps rely heavily on emotional intelligence skills, that is our self-awareness, our self-management, our social awareness, and our relationship management,” she explains. “The last two steps —how to get there and how to stay there —are very reliant on project management skills.” Each time we make a plan to create positive change, we experience an added bonus.
“If you improve your ability to create change, you improve your emotional intelligence skills. If you improve your emotional intelligence skills, you’re improving your ability to create and adapt to change,” she states with joy.
May we pray together?
Good Father, no one minds a vacation trip. But for some reason, humans resist change. Thank You for wiring us with a natural protection mechanism in our brains. When we need to make change, please help us recognize the dreams and plans you have for us. Give us strength to reach out and create the plan to best accomplish Your loving ambitions for each of us. Let our lives reflect Your glory. In Jesus’s name we pray. Amen.
We LOVE to hear from YOU!
What are you dreaming about in your life? How has someone inspired you to reach for your dreams? In what ways are you teaching the children you love to imagine good things for their future?
Coming Soon
My first book releases soon, so I’m really pumped! Please pray the delays in it’s release will be resolved quickly. Thank you to all my champion prayer warriors!
I’m also looking forward to the opportunity to speak once events resume. To find out more, just leave me a comment or sign up for my blog, here. Watch here for a big thank you to all who endorsed the book pre-publication. I am so grateful!
Cathy Krafve, Columnist, Speaker, Blogger, Podcaster, and Christian Writer, invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.
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