God asks us tender questions? Okay, for the girl that collects questions, you’d think I would have already noticed God’s tender conversations begin with tender questions. Never even thought about God’s tender questions for us.
Then came Paula Quinn. Occasionally, I come across a truly transformative book for me personally. I read a ton, but this is one of my all-time personal favorite books. In it, Paula asks the questions I shoulda been asking.
Power Questions
Of course, I know good questions prompt intimate companionship. (Seriously, I wrote a whole chapter in Marriage Conversations about how to change an argument back into a conversation with a power question.)
Naturally, Paula’s premiss transfixed me. Wait a minute! Shouldn’t we be pondering on God’s tender questions? Yes, of course! I LOVE Paula’s take on this tool for fostering intimacy and faith.
With Resurrection Celebrations underway, now is the perfect time for a paradigm shift. In my soul at least. Perhaps you enjoy a fresh perspective, too?
God Wants to Connect
I got to interview Paula, a highly gifted woman in an era of strong women, through the mutual friendship of another beautiful friend. (Shout out to Eugenia!) Thank You, God, for continuously blessing me with amazing people in my life.
First, here’s a small sample of Paula’s bio. Adjunct Professor at SMU (we won’t hold the ponies against her), a bachelors from University of Texas (the real university, hehehe), SMU Law School, public school teacher, public defender in Dallas, Child Protective Services, mom, wife, scholar, and now author. You get the idea. Plus, best of all, she grew up in Tyler, Texas.
“In many cases, the questions show that God not only had conversations with all sorts of people, he had relationships with them. Many of us want this connection, and I believe God wants this as well.” ~Paula Quinn, from her new book, Questions God Asks Us.
Her Favorite of God’s Tender Questions
As a fellow question-hoarder, I couldn’t wait to ask Paula which of God’s questions struck her heart the most.
“The one that really was sort of intimate to me, and also very rich—and who God is and how He sees us— is the question He asked to Hagar when she’s alone in the desert,” responds Paula. “ And God comes along and says, ‘What’s the matter?’”
Paula explains Hagar’s circumstances. “She’s run away, been cast out really from Abraham and Sarah and their clan, their family. And she doesn’t know what she’s going to do.” There’s a reason God’s tender question for Hagar catches Paula’s (and our) attention.
The Intimacy of God’s Question
“It catches my heart because, ‘What’s the matter?’ is something you say to a friend, someone you know well,” Paula says. “Someone you could read their face and see. Now she was in dire circumstances. Still, you could pass somebody on the street who’s in dire circumstances and not say, ‘What’s the matter?’ It’s just this very intimate question.”
Paula goes on to describe the true nature of the challenges Hagar faced.
“The other part of that is, Hagar was an Egyptian slave. She had no power. She had no power with her benefactors who had been Abraham and Sarah who were, you know, the great patriarch and matriarch of the Bible.”
Abandoned? No Influence? Ouch!
Certainly, we can all identify with feeling alone and isolated.
“So she doesn’t have any influence.”
Hagar is cast out of her place, her adopted family, her community. Perhaps she feels God’s covenant has passed her by. She may feel she’s not even the right religion. Surely, we can all relate to Hagar. Has God abandoned me?
Moreover, abandonment can get passed down through families. There’s something very powerful and comforting in this question God asks, What’s the matter?
Who hasn’t had moments where we felt like we had no voice, no control, other people were controlling our destiny? Who hasn’t struggled with abandonment issues? As we talked, I wondered if Paula’s experiences with our judicial system helped create her compassionate heart.
Not Their First Conversation
Additionally, it’s not the first personal conversation between Hagar and God.
“Earlier, the first time God meets Hagar, she’s also in the desert. She’s pregnant. And He said, you’re going to have boy. His name is Ishmael. Ishmael means, ‘God hears,’” reports Paula, adding Hagar basically names God. “‘You’re the God who sees.’ Now I’ve been seen by the One who sees me.”
The God who hears and sees is really the theme for all the forty questions she chose throughout the Bible, according to Paula. Plus, what we see and what we hear turns out to be crucial in understanding what God’s questions for us.
God Sees YOU. He Hears YOU.
Each year, Easter is a terrific time for me to rethink my personal approach to meditation and contemplation. (Find one of my favorite Easter stories ever here.)
Miraculously, God sees us and hears us. This is a constant surprise to me. I find it hard to believe the God of the universe could care for dorky ole me.
“How we see God is so important. To know that of all the universe, God has spotted you,” Paula says. “Not just somebody who is big in ministry, or important, or politically important, or wealthy. She felt like a nobody. I think that’s another theme in these questions. Most of us most of the time feel like we’re pretty ordinary. And in some sense we are.”
And yet, He cares for each of us in our most frail places. In our most abandoned, lonely moments. When everyone else fails us, He does not.
A Thousand Generations
Paula quoted the following verse and it encouraged my heart very much. I wanted to pass it along to you.
“But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands.” ~Exodus 20:6
Like past saints, we can take God’s questions and let Him ask those questions of us, too. When we do, we absorb the rich, deep understanding that comes in an intimate moments with Him.
This is my Easter prayer for YOU, dear one. That you will know the unfailing love of the only perfect Savior who thought enough of you to die for you. May you know and live the resurrected life of Jesus Christ. May joy overflow from your heart in transforming love, rippling throughout our hurting culture and creating peace.
YOU are mighty indeed.
🙂
cathy
We LOVE to hear from YOU!
Now for some fun questions for YOU. ❤️ What’s your favorite Bible story about God’s tenderness? When has God surprised you with a tender question? How do you celebrate Easter with your family?
May we pray together?
Dear good Father, Your own Son came to seek us out. Then, He paid the price for us on the cross. In the greatest single moment in all of history, He proved death could not hold Him. We celebrate Him. Thank You for sending the Savior. Teach us to live fr others. Let us demonstrate resurrected lives. We praise You, O Holy One! Bless us now because that’s Your heart’s desire. In Jesus’s name. Amen
The Local Authors We LOVE!
Join us for our Spring 2021 Book Bananza and get the authors you love to sign your books. Please pass the word to authors you love. Watch here for more info soon!
Speaking of the Book Bananza, don’t miss What About Her? written by my friend and co-host of the Book Bananza, Gina Butler.
Stay Tuned For More Experts
Hold onto your hats because next week Paula Quinn returns to talk about WHY we blame God. Oh. My. Goodness. You don’t want to miss her insight! (Get your copy of The Questions God Asks Us.)
After that I chat with Erin Kerry about the creative ways moms tailor our ideas to fit each unique child. Conversational adventures are one way to relieve stress and spark wholeness in families. No one talks wholeness with more authenticity than Erin. Being her guest was a big treat! (Find Erin’s wisdom about Sparking Wholeness and The Brain-Gut Connection. Find my books at Valerosa Designs and Gallery.)
Next, Nancy Kay Grace joins me to talk about how our families can foster grace and joy no matter the circumstance. She speaks from experience. You will LOVE this dear friend’s heart.
For Mother’s Day, I chose a great gift for moms everywhere. Re/Engage Director Susan Cox joins me to talk about transforming marriages. You are going to LOVE her and every word she shares!
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Cathy Krafve, Speaker, Blogger, Podcaster, and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. We invite you to join the Fireside Tribe. Truth with a Texas Twang.
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