You may feel you are in a lonely marriage, but you are not alone.
We all search for solutions when our marriage hits a rocky patch. We may google solutions for a lonely marriage and be astonished at the articles. Seeing so many articles on the topic may actually encourage us. We are not alone after all. Often, the solution for a lonely marriage comes in the comfort of a trustworthy friend. Whether it’s our marriage or anything else, by being courageously vulnerable, we discover compassion and strength in our friends.
Take, for instance, a tender moment with a friend years ago. She wrapped me in her arms and held me while I soaked in her affection with relief. She was the first friend I told when I finally had the courage to talk about my abortion.
I expected rejection. Instead, she told me about a crisis in her past. Flabbergasted, I wondered how we were so close, yet never talked about the most crucial things in our past. In the compassion she offered me, I recognized her story as a gift. She offered vulnerability freely. I received it gratefully.
All women wonder if we are alone. A lonely moment in our marriage can be the most lonely place in the universe. We consider our past and conclude we are the only one who has ever been so wounded, so mistreated, or so wrong. We feel isolated in our pain.
Women have Questions
When our marriages hit a snag, we wonder. Is it just me? Did I marry the wrong person? Is my marriage hard because I am somehow ill-prepared for a healthy relationship? Wives have questions.
Moms have questions, too. Will my kids turn out okay? Are my parenting skills good enough? Is there something else I should know before it’s too late?
Women have questions about aging, worries about work and finances and Lord only knows what else! When we share our sorrows and fears with someone trustworthy, we discover we are not alone after all. Still, let’s face it, some of us are better than others at reaching out.
Reach Out Anyway
Of course, some experiences do require privacy. On the other hand, sometimes when we fail to reach out, we short change ourselves. We feel alone because we are afraid if we admit the truth we will be rejected.
Then, too, there are times when we start a conversation only to feel rejected and regretful. Perhaps, the person we chose didn’t know how to be tender with our pain or loneliness. Yet, in the process, we will learn to reach out judiciously.
We are wise to find a trustworthy friend. That’s how we share gentle companionship in life, especially when we need it most. For most of us, gentle companionship is a daily need like water, food, and air.
We can choose trustworthy friends who always welcome, rather than reject us. Together, with grace and confidentiality, we can explore any and all questions. Women share so many unique challenges and joys.
We want conversations guaranteed to be full of tenderness and comfort. We can learn to share our sacred, most tender stories with each other. With the courage to be vulnerable, we are only a short step away from finding the strength we need to transform a lonely marriage into a victorious life.
May I pray for you?
Dear Father in heaven, we have legitimate pain due to other people’s mistakes or our own. It is so easy for us to feel alone in our pain. You know its true because Your Son died on our behalf, for the way we hurt each other in this life. Please bless this dear reader now with an understanding of Your infinite compassion. Let this dear one walk in an awareness today of Your unfailing love and constant companionship demonstrated in Your victory over death! Open our heart’s eyes to rejoice in the people You have chosen today to pour out Your love to us, Your beloved children. Renew our energy for connecting in our key relationships, especially marriage and family. Thank You for Your wholehearted and unfailing love. In Jesus’s name, we pray. Amen.
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Cathy Krafve, Texas-based Author, Columnist, Speaker, and Radio Personality, specializing in Christian Marriage and Family can be reached at cathykrafve@gmail.com. Please visit with Cathy at her website cathykrafve.com.
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