“I didn’t expect it would be so hard,” Brooke Frick says and we break into giddy laughter. You can see why I love this authentic friend so much. Motherhood is one thing. Motherhood times five? That’s a whole ‘nother thing! So, how do you encourage yourself when your hands are full? Brooke knows first hand.
Motherhood is Hard
“Growing up I always wanted to be a mom. I really couldn’t think—other than writing— of something that I really wanted to do other than be a mom,” explains Brooke. “I thought I’d just be good at it.” More laughter. “Oh yeah, it comes naturally.”
Instead, motherhood turns out to be really, really hard sometimes. Okay, most of the time. (If you missed Brooke’s story last week, you can find it here.)
“I just didn’t think it was going to humble me so much as it has,” Brooke says. “It’s been the single most thing in my life that God has taught me about my inabilities to do things and His ability to do them. He’s just used it continually.”
Pregnancy and Toddlerhood
Take her life with her first two little ones, for instance.
“I remember I had my first son and it was so great. I loved it,” Brooke recounts. But it wasn’t all easy-peasy. “It was hard though. I ended up with a c-section, not planned. Then, when he was about six months old, I got pregnant with my other son.”
She remembers being in their little house in Virginia with her mom who showed up to help. Her mom held her new-born baby while her older son crawled around on the floor. Suddenly, she had a moment of clarity.
“God, how did you think I could do this? How can I possibly take care of these two babies? I cannot.”
She laughs and claims she sees a pattern.
God, I Can’t Do This!
“The theme of my life has just come up again and again of ‘God, I can’t do this,’” she laughs. “When we had twins, I said, ‘God, I can’t do this.’” But Brooke has learned a secret for success when we feel overwhelmed.
“God’s will and desire for us is never that we should need Him less. It’s that we should need Him more,” Brooke says.
I was so glad Brooke brought this up. Knowing our need for God is the first step to encouraging ourselves.
“Not that He’s always wanting to put us through hard circumstances,” she explains. “But we have to come to that point where we realize we can’t do anything apart from God. Motherhood has really taught me that.”
It seems I say the same thing to the Lord, “You’ve got to be kidding! That’s too hard for me!”
I Love Lucy Attitude
Brooke and I met through our writers’ group at CrossRiver Media. I fell in love with her authentic, down-to-earth style. Plus, there’s the whole I-love-Lucy quality to the stuff she shares about her day spent with five active kids.
“Today is different. Today, I’m by myself at a coffee shop working and writing. I have real clothes on. That’s a great day.” With humor, she embraces each day’s reality—the challenges and special blessings.
“Yesterday, I hadn’t showered. I’m doing laundry all day long. It’s not even folded because you’re just focused on getting it through the washer and dryer and put the pile aside and deal with it later.”
The Wonder of Motherhood
Yet, the unexpected blessings of motherhood still fill her with wonder.
“My arms are so tired. My arms were worn out for the next twenty years,” she laughs. “I definitely should not have wobbly arms!” Savoring the sweet spots is key to encouraging ourselves.
“We’re entering a new stage, what people might call a sweet spot of parenting because your kids are not little infants anymore,” Brooke explains. “My oldest is eleven so he’s not quite too sassy. So we are in this sweet phase.”
Hilarious Clarity
Brooke writes with hilarious clarity. If I didn’t know how much she agonized over every word in her book, I’d be jealous. Her book and her blogs sneak up on the reader with her hilarity. (Check out this sample of her blog.) She says trusting God is key.
“I want to see the plan unfold and I want to know. Instead, I think He just wants me to know Him,” she shares. “When we can see less, then maybe we can shift our eyes to Him more. Because it’s not about the vision in front of us. We can’t see that. What we can know is that He’s there.”
Asking the Tough Questions
Knowing God is there doesn’t mean it’s all coffee shops and clean laundry, though.
“I went through a couple of hard weeks just even a couple of weeks ago. I felt like everything was against me.”
She even felt like God was against her, she says. In moments like those, Brooke asks God her hard questions.
“Where are You? God this isn’t working the way I thought it was supposed to work. I thought You were for me.”
We all have moments when it feels like prayer doesn’t do the trick. (For more from prayer walking guru, Janet McHenry, click here.)
“You know, the prayers we’d been praying weren’t working or answered how we thought,” she shares. “It was just really discouraging. But I reached out for prayer. I voiced all my disappointment, I guess, and even anger.” Certainly, encouraging ourselves may mean getting real with God.
“Nothing changed in our circumstances but God just came in and gave me a peace,” Brooke says, adding another reality. “It’s not like I’m going to stay in that place. I wish I would stay in that place, but I know I’m gonna wander and have to come back.” Even so, she shares the questions she comes back to, double-checking her own heart, especially this year.
“Okay this is real and I have to figure out what am I really trusting here. Am I trusting my circumstances or my husband? Or am I trusting myself or am I trusting the Lord? Obviously, the one I want to trust is God.”
Tips for Encouraging Ourselves
Perhaps you noticed encouragement is Brooke’s natural habitat. I couldn’t resist highlighting a few of her ideas as great tips to keep in mind. I summarized them here for you, too.
- With humor, embrace each day’s reality—the challenges and special blessings.
- Savor the sweet spots.
- Trusting God is essential for us all.
- Encouraging ourselves may mean getting real with God.
- Depend on God’s loving strength.
Depending on God’s Loving Strength
Have you noticed one of Brooke’s favorite themes? Depending on God’s loving strength. Certainly, God’s trustworthiness is a recurring theme in her devotion book, Hands Full.
I find Brooke very inspiring and encouraging. (For more about how welcoming your family and friends bounces back to you, click here.) She nails so many big concepts. Her writing is for anybody, but moms and grandmas will especially love her stuff.
No Formulas, Just Faith and Forgiveness
“There isn’t a formula for parenting. It’s just that we need to depend on God. The more we depend on God and get our nourishment from him, the more we get forgiveness for the things that we need forgiveness for in our lives. Then, we can extend that grace to our kids and parent from a place of rest and health.”
Sounds simple but Brooke acknowledges the simple stuff can seem the hardest. (For encouragement when the sonogram reveals a challenge, click here.)
“Lean into Jesus because we can’t do it on our own. He knows that and He wants to do it with us, alongside us, and through us,” she says, adding with a laugh, “We’re not supermoms.”
Maybe not, but I think Brooke is pretty dang super.
May we pray together?
Dear Father, You call us to be like You, especially when it comes to parenting. You are unfailing in Your love for us. Your sacrificial love culminated in the loving sacrifice of Jesus. His life, His teaching, and His sacrifice draw us to You today as they have for centuries. Help us walk with You, depending on You. Teach us to trust You amidst the daily delights and disasters of parenting! We love You, O good Father! In Jesus’s name, we pray. Amen.
We LOVE to hear from YOU!
When have you felt like God wasn’t there for you? How has God surprised you with unexpected answers to prayer? When has His presence been your best comfort and encouragement?
Abba’s Answers
Don’t Forget: Abba’s Answers is out! I have a story in it along with dozens of other inspiring stories. If you are looking for encouragement or a different kind of devotional via story-telling, you’ll love this book. I highly recommend it as a gift. (For more, click here.)
Coming Up Next: How to Cope With Miscarriages
In the next few weeks, the amazing Lindsey Bell offers comfort to moms who’ve had miscarriages. Plus she’ll address the universal nature of pain. Perhaps your heart is broken by your own miscarriage or a friend’s. Lindsey’s devotional book, Unbeaten, tells the story of overcoming pain. Watch here for sweet Lindsey!
Additionally, if you love devotional books, you’re going to love the new one out by my friend and math genius, Angie Ruark. So watch for her interview coming soon! (For more Fireside Talk Radio episodes, click here.)
Order your copies of Abba’s Answers here.
Cathy Krafve, Columnist, Speaker, Blogger, Podcaster, and Christian Writer, invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.
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