Redefining romance? If you’ve got small children, a new way to spark romance is a necessity. No time for candles? Do your children gobble up the Valentine’s Day stash before you get a quiet interlude? No problem! Anna sat down with me recently on Fireside Talk Radio to offer some sparky ideas for easy, romantic fun.
Personal Definition of Romance
“When we were first married I stumbled upon my own personal definition of romance,” laughs Anna. “There were some things Drew did that shocked me when I realized I thought they were really romantic.”
For instance, her husband surprised her with some thoughtful treasures he found in the yard to add to her growing collections of leaves, butterflies, and lizard skeletons. As an artist, Anna loves to study the way flowers and insects are structured.
“I came to realize romance was about him knowing what I like. It wasn’t candlelight for me at all,” Anna says.
Her husband felt like the luckiest guy on the planet, of course, because he is a natural at thoughtful gestures. He observes what will communicate love to her and does those things.
Redefining Romance to Fit Your Lifestyle
Anna tells of being swept off her feet by her hubby one drippy afternoon in Texas’s hill country. He wanted to stand outside in the rain with her, so they dashed outside to the huge live oak in their back yard, holding hands and laughing.
Silly to some perhaps, but Anna’s heart beat faster.
“It was like I stepped into a romantic comedy or a classic film,” she laughs. She gives him extra brownie points for creating a Hallmark moment since he grew up with only brothers.
They share a love of nature, so some of their most romantic moments involve savoring some aspect of God’s creation. Your personal definition of romance will depends on your husband and what is going to communicate love between you two, she explains. Maybe it’s nature, or football, or time spent with family.
Romance doesn’t have to involve planning ahead or spending money. Anna thinks sweet, spontaneous moment spark romance and treasured memories.
Love Starts with a Smile
Love, like romance, needs a personal definition. For instance, you may fall in love with the man of your dreams because he smiled at you across a crowded room. But when your first child smiles up at you, your whole universe shifts again. Love gets a whole new definition as soon as you hold a new baby in your arms.
“Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love” ~Mother Teresa.
“Even if they’re smiling because the baby just passed gas,” laughs Anna. She offers a better plan for experiencing love.
“We take for granted that the minute we see a beautiful new baby we’re going to love them instantly. And that’s not true for everyone,” says Anna. A wise friend suggested she ask God for love ahead of time. “Boy, was she right! I was so thankful for her advice.”
You can’t control your chemistry or how awful you feel after giving birth, according to Anna, but you can ask God to give you love.
Now Anna makes it her habit to ask God to let her love her children more tomorrow than she did today.
Asking God to Give You Love
“It’s one of my favorite things to pray at the end of each day. Even for my husband, I try to be thankful at the end of each day that I got to love him,” Anna shares, adding she feels it’s a privilege to love her husband. “It’s a gift. I’m all about praying for love.”
Sometimes we forget God loves even our most broken and hurt places. True love is the unconditional and redemptive love God offers us. Our most traumatizing experiences, don’t phase Him. He loves to meet us in our most broken places and comfort us.
Because Jesus suffered on the cross we can trust His comfort and unconditional love for us. Sacrifice is an important part of love and, yes, romance.
The Camaraderie of Team
“The camaraderie of being on a team (with your spouse) is so powerful you don’t even have to be having fun,” suggests Anna. She tells of a romantic adventure she and her hubby had while on a retreat weekend with a bunch of young people from their church.
“The bathroom was trashed. Drew and I looked at each other and went and got our gloves and cleaned the bathroom. It was so romantic.” Romance often has an unexpected sacrificial element to it, she says. (For some great thoughts on romance, find our interview with romance writer Catherine Ulrich Brakefield here.)
“We knew each other’s heart. By myself, cleaning the bathroom would have been so awful. But, it was this unexpected, hilarious thing we did together.”
Valentine’s Day Romance Can Be Easy
We hope Anna’s ideas give you relief if you were feeling overwhelmed about orchestrating the perfect Valentine’s romance. Romance can come out of something spontaneous. It can even be as sacrificial and free as, say, cleaning the bathroom.
Get this: the word valentine derives from valens meaning strong and powerful. The original Saint Valentine was known for bringing comfort and strength to Christians persecuted by the Roman Empire. (For more about how to raise history-loving children, click here.)
In fact, Saint Valentine’s loyalty to his fellow Christians only ended when he was himself martyred. The word martyr originally meant to be witness or swear to the truth. That is not exactly candlelight and chocolate, is it? May you enjoy true love today and every day!
May we pray together?
Loving Father, may You be the true love of our innermost heart. Teach us to love others with true, sacrificial love. Let this dear one know the inestimable value you’ve assigned to her. Please surround us with people who love us extravagantly and authentically. Opens our eyes to notice when loved ones lavish us with affection in innumerable, unique ways.
We LOVE to hear from YOU!
What’s your best Valentine’s Day memory ever? How have you done something special to show your love this week? Who you would like to hear from in an interview for Fireside Talk Radio?
Cathy Krafve, Columnist, Speaker, Blogger, Podcaster, and Christian Writer, invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.
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