As you squirmed in your seat, pencil in your sweaty hand, did you wonder if Mom was right to force us to write thank you notes? Yep, it’s the season for graduation, weddings, and showers. And, yes, the thank you note blues.
Naturally, we all know we should be thankful for all the thoughtful gifts piling up this time of year. However, especially if you’re a bride or new mommy, it can get overwhelming! If you’ve got graduates at home, maybe you’re wondering if you should save yourself some misery and just write the dang things yourself! How do we write the best ever thank you note ever?
Bad Thank You Notes Blues
Have you ever received a thank you note that was so short and dull you felt a little insulted? Okay, I’m a thank you note snob, I’ll admit it. Imagine my poor children – such a stickler, I required them to write thank you notes before we broke the seal on any new packages. Fortunately, I simply don’t see the point of writing out of obligation any more. Of course, I still don’t think it’s polite to send such a bland note that the gift giver wonders if you even liked the present they picked.
“Curses, another thank you note!” If that’s your first thought about this round of presents, we’ve got good news. Before you jot off a short and not-so-sweet note, let’s look at the freedom principle of thank you note writing!
Thank You Notes NOT Required
Primarily, the freedom principle serves us up a big dose of relief, followed by joy. Fortunately, the long list of occasions not requiring thank you notes brings liberty. Contrary to what our mothers may have taught us, you are under no obligation to write a note if….
- You thanked the giver in person when you received the gift.
- The gift was a thank you to you for some other kindness you bestowed.
- You called the giver on the phone to say thanks. By the way, some wise grandparents prefer this method of teaching kiddos thankfulness.
- They prefer to hear from you via a quick email or text.
- You brought a hostess gift with a note attached expressing your gratitude for their hard work to create the event.
Honestly, it’s so much easier to be thankful when we’re not forced to be! Glory Hallelujah for proper etiquette!
The Real Reason for Thank You Notes
Fortunately, the primary reason for thank you notes is to let the giver know you received their gift. Especially if the gift comes through the mail, simple courtesy entails a little communication back. (Plus, kids soon learn they may get more presents if they respond politely.)
Happily, I already feel better knowing I get to make judicious choices about whether or not to write. How about you? As we give ourselves permission to skip any notes in the above cases, the job evolves into a pleasant one.
Cathy’s 3-Part Secret Prayer Process
Not too long ago, I found myself dictating thank you notes to my husband and children when they got stumped, pen in hand. Eventually, I realized I no longer hated the process of writing a short note to say thanks. What had changed? My process. Just for you, dear one, here’s my 3-part secret for making thank you notes a treat, rather than drudgery:
1) First, PRAY. There’s something so optimistic about pretty stationary, waiting to be filled with blessings for someone else. Enjoy the blank space in all its potential. Then, pray for the person you are writing to thank. Lord, thank you for this person who loves me enough to do something kind. Bless them today. Give me words to convey how special they are in my life.
2) Next, PONDER. Then, consider all the past times that person has been kind to you or your family. If they are a new friend, the surprise of their kindness is all the more amazing when you meditate on it. I always find myself thanking God for the ministry of friends. Lord, thank You for expressing Your love to me and my family through their kindness.
3) Finally, WRITE the best part. Yep, just jot down a few choice ideas about how dear they are to you and your family. Lord, thank You for using this person to show Your love to me and my family today. You are gracious and surround us with those who express Your love. What a blessing!
The Result: The Gift of a Thankful Heart
Best of all, by praying through your thank you note pile, you’ll discover bonus blessings beyond the original gift. After all, who could resist an urge to thank someone after asking God to bless them with your words?
Now, after praying, you suddenly see a long habit of blessings flowing in all directions because of tried and true friendships! Plus, the blessing of new friendships jumps off the page at you. Naturally, gratitude transforms a chore into a second gift from each friend. Oh, what joy!
Best of all, we give ourselves the gift of grateful hearts. (Honestly, maybe it’s not us at all. Maybe it’s just God’s Spirit doing what He always does best, answering our prayers!) Anyway, joy sure beats dreading the task and trudging through it like a troll. (And, not one of those cute trolls with the bright hair, but a nasty troll like the ones in Grimm’s fairy tales.)
The Four Thank You Note Basics: Plus an Easy Smeasy Cheat Sheet
Still unconvinced? Okay, I get it. Clearly, you just want an easy way to write thank you notes. Here goes. Always include the 4 basics.
First, acknowledge the gift specifically. Second, thank the giver for their love and friendship. Third, mention a special moment or personality trait you cherish about the giver. Fourth, close with affectionate, personal gratitude for them.
Maybe you love these ideas and share them with your kids. If my mom happens to be watching from heaven, that would make her so happy! (Is that even possible? Or, am I channeling the Littlest Angel?)
For an even quicker way to share, click here. This will connect you to our blog. For subscribing, we’ll send you the Easy Smeasy Thank You Note Cheat Sheet Template. (If you’re a teacher, we thank you for your work. Additionally, we sure hope this little tool makes teaching even more fun! Feel free to share it at school, church, and home!)
To share our gratitude meme, click here. (Oh, please share it on Pinterest. I would be so thrilled and, yes, thankful!)
Gratitude: The Health-giving Balm
I have no idea when I started writing thank you notes this way, but I do know I’m more grateful than I ever. Why not thank God now for friends who bless us and our families!
Clearly, gratitude acts like balm, soothing broken hearts and healing bitter souls. Gratitude heals so well that bonus blessings follow with every gift. May you receive countless gifts from those who love you. Joyfully, may you cherish each giver with health-giving gratitude!
I’m grateful for Upcoming Adventures!
Also, I’m grateful to announce Cynthia Tobias will be a guest soon! (Click here for one of the videos she sends out regularly.) Since the 90s when my kids were little, this amazing thought leader’s training taught us to appreciate learning differences. As a frequent guest on Focus on the Family over the years, her tried and true wisdom is guaranteed to equip and inspire us all!
Plus, in another burst of joyful energy, Prayer Walking Guru Janet McHenry brings her trade-mark humor and down-to-earth attitude to deliver power in our prayers. Click here for a little sample of this highly anticipated treat!
Also, Anna returns soon for summer fun with kiddos. Oh, thank You Lord, for these amazing and inspiring women!
May I pray for you?
Father in heaven, You are the good Giver of all good things, especially good relationships. Thank You for the way you express Your love for us through other people. Give us hearts to cherish our friends. Help us thoughtfully give so our gifts honor You. Please, O Lord, equip our hearts to share gratitude with our kids and grandkids. May gratitude flow to them like an inheritance. In a world that craves affection, let us pass along the unconditional love, joy, and companionship You offer. In Jesus’s name. Amen.
We love to hear from you!
How has a friend blessed you with a special gift? When has gratitude been a chore and why? What secrets do you use to cultivate gratitude in your kids?
More Stories and Wisdom to Bless Our Hearts!
If you, too, want to spark companionship in our world, we want to encourage you! Joyfully, we interview experts. Please catch stories from amazing heroes like Judge Carole Clark, Sarah Cumming, Ben Sciacca and Tina Meier, on Fireside Talk Radio. Or, you can sign up for our blog by clicking here (and we sure hope you do!!!)
Cathy Krafve, Columnist, Speaker, Blogger, Podcaster, and Christian Writer, invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.
Trackbacks/Pingbacks