People often think of ambition as a bad thing. Maybe it is when ambition seeks to collect fancy toys, like hotrod cars and mink coats. 

But what about all the men and women we know who are ambitious because they want to provide for their families. Healthy ambition can be downright selfless.

Good Things

“What does mamma want for you?” she asked her son tenderly.

A beautiful mom we respect very much invented a special series of questions for her son. Her goal? To counteract the negative influence of someone in her family who constantly undermines her. 

Most families can relate to the problem of having adults around your child make negative remarks about your parenting. 

Whether it’s well-meaning grandparents, in-laws, clueless relatives, or exes, someone always seems to be the parenting armchair quarterback. Somehow they think they’re more of an expert on your child than you are.

Our friend’s son was so tiny. At first she had to give him the answer.

“Good things.” 

Soon, he answered her question each time with confidence and a twinkle in his eye. To her credit, she boosted her son’s confidence and strengthened their relationship without ever saying one bad word about the adult culprit. For more tips, here’s another single and strong (and really wise) friend.

Good Ambitions

We all want good things for our kids. 

“That’s where I’m most ambitious,” says Anna. “I desperately, more than anything else in this world, want good things for them. It’s so much easier to be sacrificial for my adorable children.”

I like what Mark 8:36  says about success:

“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”

We certainly want to set the stage so our kids succeed at providing for themselves and their loved ones. And not just the basic material needs, but emotional and spiritual well-being as well. 

Camp Krafve Definition of Ambitious

Of course, managing our ambition is a lifelong process. Clearly, life-long learning appears frequently in conversations with Anna and me. So, we came up with a definition of healthy ambition we hope gives you freedom to embrace your own ambition. 

Especially if your ambition is to motivate your kids toward good things.

Camp Krafve Definition of Ambitious—a spark of desire fueled by the gumption to seek and share good things.

Good Points About Ambition

Anna made so many good points about ambition in this conversation, I’m forced to summarize in today’s blog. If you listen in to the podcast you’ll hear her expound on all of this.

Lack of gratitude directly relates to ambition.

“When I get disappointed because I had expectations that got dashed,” explains Anna, “I let myself to get sucked into that vortex of depression or anxiety or just lack of gratitude. That undermines my ambition.” Anna shares how grieving even small things can undermine our motivation. 

“Next thing you know I’m sitting on the couch, reading a novel, getting nothing done. Which there’s nothing wrong with that, for like two days, if you have to recover from something. Life has disappointments.”

Ambition, goals, a vision for life give our kids confidence.

However, it gets frustrating, especially for mom, if all they want to do is sit on the couch all the time. A lot of young men seem to be unmotivated when their hormones come in as teenagers. Even if it’s just for a short season, there are some practical things you can try to stimulate their ambition.

Giving each of your children a vision for how their beautiful life could look increases their healthy ambition. Especially when it’s laced with gratitude for all their experiences. 

The discipline of thankfulness fuels ambition.

“The discipline of being thankful, being in the Spirit, being in the word,” Anna says, “Those things directly affect the goodness I want for other people.”

Being aware of God’s goodness fuels our desire to share with others, according to Anna. Generosity is highly motivating. And contagious. 

“If I’m not taking in His goodness one of the first symptom for me often in my life is I lose my sense of gratitude. Then you start becoming the victim really fast,” she adds.

Victimhood deflates ambition.

There’s nothing less motivating than thinking you’re somehow helpless and you’re the victim.

On one hand, thankful hearts, giving your child a vision, ambition; all are tied to motivating your child. On the other hand, victimhood, feelings of helplessness, depression, are all tied to feeling like you have no control over your life or heart.

Overwhelmed with Blown Expectations

We all have times when we feel overwhelmed, unmotivated and hurt. Adults face down failure, frailties and blown expectations every day. So, how do we handle it when our kids need to bounce back, too?

Anna describes how thwarted ambitions sometimes look at her house right now, describing my beloved granddaughter. 

“My sweet daughter, when she gets frustrated right now, it’s overwhelming. She has an idea, she thinks it’s a great idea, she wants something good. It’s ambitious because that’s just who she is. She has a plan,” Anna explains, with a chuckle about her very bright little daughter. 

But what if the family already has commitments for that moment?

“Then I have to tell her no. I mean, instant meltdown because she’s overwhelmed and frustrated and somebody took away the good thing she wanted.”

How Do We All Recover?

In those moments, Anna suggests getting your child to take a few calm breaths, “kind of like Colleen Long.” Personally, I needed a few calming deep breaths, too, when I was Mommy of youngsters. 

“If I can get her to come down off that chemical that is revved in her little body, then she asks for help. She can say to me, ‘Mom, this was my plan and you told me no. Help. How can we negotiate?’” 

Together, they can find a great compromise, allowing sweet Beth to accomplish her goal. Maybe they schedule a social time later in the day. Perhaps they involve other families for a fun outing. Or, my personal favorite, they invite grandparents over for tea. Something as simple as planning a Face Time may satisfy her daughter’s ambition to bring people together.

Lack of Ambition?

Obviously, serious mental health concerns need serious attention from professionals. But don’t forget to rule out the easy stuff first. 

For instance, teenage boys may feel unmotivated simply because they don’t yet have skills to accomplish their big dreams. 

Sons and grandsons hit a certain age and they are ambitious to make their own money. But often  don’t have a business plan. Business plan? Heck, what teenager has a business plan! 

Our teenage son’s business plan included us paying for all the paper and printing of his neighborhood newspaper while he kept all the subscription money. Not a bad plan.

Seriously though, it’s easy to feel helpless when you have a vision but lack skills. Starting a new business is scary for anyone. 

The frustrations Mom may feel may not be linked to a lack of ambition. Ambition could be sparked by something as simple as finding mentors along the way to help with specific skill sets.

“When you have a goal that is worthy of everything you are, then you can live the moment you are in to the best of your abilities,” Anna reasons, “Then, there’s no room for regrets because you’ve left nothing on the table. Then, you’re ready for the next opportunity. Because God wants good things for us, there’s always the next opportunity.

Nimble Minds. Serving Hearts

Life-long learning keeps your mind nimble. Especially if your goal is to serve others. 

“I was just thinking of all the bosses I’ve had over the years who pursued higher degrees so they could be in a position of influence and authority at a school,” Anna emphasizes. “And how many of them have dear faith and really believe that being the boss means they serve.”

Together we thank all the teachers out there who find our stuff and share it with their friends. We are so very grateful for you and the hard work you do. 

We believe you do the thing in front of you well as a parent or teacher. That you are ready for the next opportunity God presents. And you keep pushing for the good of all the people around you. 

If so, then we believe the children you love will be motivated, too, for the good of others. Next week, I’ll share the four GREAT human motivators. I hope you will watch for that practical and easy to use guide to motivating the little people we love and call our babies.

🙂 

cathy

P.S. If you need to motivate teenagers, check out DeeDee Lake’s book, Next Step. You’ve Accepted Jesus. Now What? Or you could read Marriage Conversations for some great material on how to use a Family Mission Statements to motivate everyone in your family.

A BIG Shout Out to Some of My Favorite People

The folks at Your Philanthropy picked up one of my blogs this week. You can read it, too. I really love Dawn Franks, Margie Boyd, and the folks over at YP. Thank you for all the great work you do to help us all make wise giving decisions. Don’t miss Dawn’s FREE ebook, Giving Fingerprints. Or find our interview here, Generosity as an Inheritance.

By the way, I love it when people spread my content. If, like YP, you let me know ahead of time, I’ll try to cross reference our stuff.

May we pray together?

Dear good Father, we want to be good parents. We want to love like You do, unconditionally, always keeping our kids best interest at heart. But honestly, sometimes they just drive us a little crazy. Especially when we’re working so hard and they’re lounging on the coach, or wasting family resources, or talking back. Okay, You know what I mean. Teach us, as parents, how to be kids that please You Father. We want to make You proud; we want to bring honor to Your name. Help us remember how much Your heart overflows with love for the kids and grandkids You entrusted to us. Bless us now, dear good Father, because that’s Your heart’s desire. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

We LOVE To hear from YOU!

What do you find motivating? How do you control your urge to throw things at your kids when their rooms are messy and they’re lounging on the coach again? Which parenting books do you love the most?

More Favorite Quotes

“Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world usually do.” ~ Steve Jobs

 “Ambition is the germ from which all growth of nobleness proceeds.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“By faithfully working eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”~ Robert Frost

“That’s how I felt for a really long time, like God didn’t care based on what was happening in my life.” ~ Unbeaten Author Lindsey Bell. For more on conquering life’s pain, including miscarriage, order Unbeaten.

“And I would reach across the page and hug you if I could. And share my Kleenex. Not a used one, of course, that would be gross. But you could pull one from my box.” ~Hands Full Author Brooke Frick

❤️❤️❤️

Cathy Krafve, host of Fireside Talk Radio and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. We welcome your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. 

❤️Truth with a Texas Twang! ❤️