Oh, the frustration! To say something important and no one listens! Often, conversations break down instead of breaking through.
We’ve all been there. Instead, how do we create break through communication moments?
Designed for Communication
Clearly, there’s hope. After all, we were designed by God to communicate with each other. The next 8 tips are all ways the Master Communicator, Jesus, broke through to communicate His message.
Break Through Communication
If we want to grow our communication skills, we must keep two things in mind. First, we humans aren’t all-knowing and, ahem, might even be wrong. Ouch! In fact, opinions are just opinions.
Second, God is always good. Somehow, knowing God is good makes everything else in life okay for me and my friends. I hope it does for you, too. So, here are 8 tips Jesus used with the woman at the well for break through communication (from John 4).
8 Tips Jesus Strategically Used Himself
#1 Focus on What’s Relevant.
Jesus often ignored people’s objections or circled back to them when the other person was ready to hear. This is one way we can avoid becoming argumentative. Of course, passion is often a byproduct of truth seeking. Still, passionate arguments are not as persuasive as truth communicated gently. Therefore, when we focus on the most important idea we want to share, we move conversation forward. We can always circle back to share more truth together later, if necessary. After all, it’s respectful to give folks time to process new ideas.
#2 Engage the Imagination.
Jesus used all kinds of ways to engage the imagination. For instance, nothing turns up the volume in conversational adventures like a quiet story. In this case, He offered the woman at the well Living Water. Wow! Jesus often engaged the imagination by offering people something they really wanted that exploded their normal perceptions.
#3 Realize There’s Always More to the Story.
We miss opportunities to communicate often because we are so focused on our own experience, rather than thinking about the person in front of us. What are they experiencing now? Is there a crisis happening in their private life? Do they enjoy thinking on the left side of their brain, rather than the right side? When they speak, do they tend to enjoy short sentences or abstract, long stories? Which related issues distract them from the main point? What would they like for the conversation to accomplish? Asking good questions can make all the difference.
#4 Make Factual Assessments.
Sometimes we’re so busy judging that we forget to stick to the facts. Facts are our friends, though, when it comes to break through communication. For example, the trash needs taking out (a fact) is so much easier to handle than I’m the only one around here who ever takes out the trash (a judgment or opinion).
#5 Bring a Bucket of Truth.
Jesus’s offer of Living Water to the woman at the well (and to us) is an offer of His Holy Spirit. He’s offering His Spirit to live in our hearts. His Spirit is the source of truth. Therefore, to bring a bucket of truth to any situation, we really need to turn to Him for compassion and insight.
We all know truth is out there. The trick as humans is to approach it with humility. God is all-knowing, but we are not. When we start claiming to know truth, we may be about to fall of a cliff. His Spirit gives us the understanding we need to handle truth wisely and with humility.
#6 Speak in an Assertive Voice.
Knowing when to speak in an assertive voice is a fundamental skill. Why? Because withholding truth may cheat those around us. Often, speaking up has the power to bring folks we love some freedom. Even though speaking up can be difficult, failing to speak up can lead to dire consequences. Sometimes, speaking up can be as simple as asking a good question.
#7 Claim Your Credibility Vulnerably.
These days everyone has a status and we’re not considered immodest when we claim the credentials we’ve earned. Yet, the most successful people are those who recognize the gifts of everyone around them. Especially for strong leaders, offering a true assessment of the places where we need help is a beautiful way to instigate break through communication. Vulnerability is an asset, not a liability.
#8 Pass Credit Along.
One of my favorite things about the story in John 4 is the way credit for finding Jesus passes back and forth throughout the story. I find it very entertaining that some folks gave the woman credit for the influence she exercised, while others refused to give her any credit at all. Instead, they claimed the credit themselves for recognizing Jesus as the Savior of the world. Honestly, both perspectives are true. That’s what makes it such a fun story. Thousands of years later, we still read about her astonishing influence. Yet, those who came to the well, individually chose to find Jesus for themselves, too. In this story, as in all of life, there’s plenty of credit to go around!
Extending Your influence
To sum it all up: Is there any hope of communicating with folks who can’t (or won’t) hear? Of course! I hope these 8 strategies from Jesus will give you a new tool or two for your own conversational adventures. My prayer is you find creative new ways to create break through communication moments in all your relationships. Speaking of tools, keep reading for some more great resources.
Tools for Conversational Adventures.
On our website, we collect tools for creating break through communication. One of my personal favorites is the Fact Box. It’s a seven minute video I invite you to share at home, at church, in Sunday school, at work, okay, just about any where. Whenever hot-headed folks polarize over divergent opinions, 7 quick minutes with the Fact Box can bring down the temperature in the room. (P. S. This is a bit of a sacrifice for me, since I look like a big blue honey bee in the video, but hey, I’m just keeping it real here.)
May I pray for you?
Father in heaven, You are the embodiment of Truth. You created us for companionship with You and with each other. Yet, our conversations can quickly break down and become arguments. We turn to You now for help. Please, O Lord, we need break through moments when communication turns to sweet companionship. Teach us to depend on Your truth and Your Spirit as we create fellowship with those we love. In Jesus’s name we pray. Amen.
We love to hear from you!
How have you rebooted conversation in your home? When you feel break through communication is impossible, how do you pray? Which experiences remind you to watch for God’s Spirit, working on your behalf? (Please leave us a message in the Comment Box below.)
We have Winners!
Winners were contacted via email and will be receiving Open With Your Broken from author Dana Goodrum!! If you missed the contest, it’s not too late to get in on the action because we’ve a fun little freebie just for you, printable templates!
Yep, just in time for Easter! These darling templets are perfect for a Sunday school craft or entertaining kids over spring break. Heck, adults love these! (I tested them on my friends!) Each one has inspiring messages and can be cut out to wrap up a candy bar. They are the perfect little treat to let friends know they are loved. Sign up for our blog and get your free templets here!
Or, find lots more easy ideas about spending time with creative kids from Anna Krafve Pierce, here.
More Stories and Wisdom to Bless Our Hearts
If you, too, are committed to building healthy communities, we want to encourage you! Joyfully, we’ve interviewed experts. Don’t miss their stories and wisdom, shared just for you on Fireside Talk Radio: Sarah Cummings, Neita Fran Ward, Benjamin A. Simpson, Ben Sciacca, Doug McSwane, Marcie McSwane, and Tony Johnson.
Cathy Krafve, Columnist, Speaker, Blogger, Podcaster, and Christian Writer, invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.
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