Got “family fatigue”? With the holidays over, we all know family fatigue is real.
I wish I’d coined the phrase, family fatigue. But I borrowed it from a wise friend. I thought I’d find family fatigue all over the internet. But maybe my friend invented it. Just in time, I suspect.
Building Back Better Families
Are you a mother-in-law, daughter, sister, mommy? Or an aspiring writer? Did your holiday leftovers include a big dish of residual family frustration? I hope your goal setting for 2022 includes building back better relationships (speaking of borrowed phrases).
If your extended family is on your mind as you start the new year, you’re gonna love today’s interview. I was thrilled when family expert Deb DeArmond agreed to come on the show.
Awkward Mom Moments With Grown Kids
However, I must confess. When I interviewed Deb our son wasn’t dating anyone. That’s definitely insider information.
Oh-so-carefully, I avoided talking about son-in-laws. We’re wild about our sons-in-law. I didn’t want to put them on the spot. But heck, now our son has a girlfriend and I’m feeling really self-conscious. So, please enjoy today’s interview, along with a chuckle about how awkward this is for me now! Next week’s is even worse. Oh dear.
Down-to-Earth Approach
Interviewing Deb, I’m standing in line behind some pretty experienced media folks, like Focus on the Family, for instance. Above all, I bet you love Deb’s down-to-earth, truth-telling attitude as much as I do. Or maybe her sense of humor. I’m a big fan.
With joy, she credits her dear friend with nudging her to start writing.
“When my friend, Eve, one afternoon dared me to ask God if He wanted me to write, I was stunned,” reports Deb.
“Okay, fine!” Deb replied. But God had more surprises for Deb.
“I was stunned when He said, ‘Yeah. Hello. Welcome to the party.’” Yep, she credits God with a great sense of humor.
Almost immediately, God revealed to Deb that she would be writing about mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationships.
“I felt really called to do it. So I wasn’t afraid to write it. That’s because I didn’t know what I didn’t know about writing books,” she adds, chuckling.
Family Fatigue or An Intense Moment of Fellowship?
Clearly, I would love the way Deb reframes the challenges all families and marriages face. For instance, she shares of writing a book about anger with her hubby.
“The hardest things? Well, we wrote a book together, Don’t Go to Bed Angry; Stay Up and Fight,” she says. “We included a lot of examples from our own life and personal experiences over the years.”
Ironically, as they wrote together, they uncovered some discrepancies.
“Oddly enough we didn’t always the details of those experiences the same way,” she says. “So here we are fighting over a book that the content is about fighting!”
Naturally, their discoveries eventually turned into hilarious stories, as they spoke to churches and conferences all over about family challenges.
“But in the moment it ended up being what we call at our house ‘an intense moment of fellowship,’” says Deb.
An intense moment of fellowship? Don’t ya love it! Hmm, I need that phrase. Certainly, my family needs for me to own that phrase.
More from Deb DeArmond
In case you want more of Deb (and I bet you do) here’s a link to one of my favorite interviews on Focus on the Family. For more Fireside Talk Radio interviews with experts here.
Wrap Up: What’s Deb Doing Now?
“I’m working on my 6th book with a team. I wrote the 5th book, which is the one, We May be Done, But We’re Not Finished, was a compilation book. I’m part of a small writer’s group. And we’re writing a book called Encouragement for the Writer’s Heart,” reports Deb.
Plus, there’s more. And you heard it here first.
“And I’m also working on a book with another individual that I’m not ready to talk about yet. But it’s about forgiveness. And the title is Somebody Has Got To Go First. It kind of lines up with the mother-in-law (book),” she says.
For more about forgiving relentlessly, check out what Prayer Walking Janet McHenry said in our interview. You can sign up to get our FREE Fireside Talk Radio interviews each week.
Good News Bad News for 2022
In the end, our interview reminded me of this good news bad news: When God gives us something exciting to do, it usually scares us to death. With that in mind, I hope you step into your fear in 2022. (Find No Fear Parenting from our Raccoon Honey Bandit.)
Courageously, face down your fear, surround yourself with good folks, and accomplish the calling God has on your life this year.
I can easily, even selfishly, pray for you. Why selfishly? Because I know if you fulfill your calling, the world we share will be a better place.
Also, Deb’s interview reminded me that when we make the transition well as our children marry, we may become positive influencers through our own extended family.
Of course, God constantly empowers us to do the things that scare us, if we trust Him. He even equips us for conversational adventures that make us tremble. Especially to build back better families.
Know this, dear one: God loves you very much. He reaches out to call YOU to Himself.
🙂
cathy
We LOVE to hear from YOU!
How can you pray for someone in your family? This year, when you consider God’s calling on your life, what pops out? In your daily life, what makes you sing praises of gratitude to God?
In case you are looking for our books (folks tell me to make finding them easy to find for my reading friends), here’s an easy link. And here’s easy way to join our Fireside Tribe.
May we pray together?
Dear good Father, Oh, how we love You! Each day, You surprise us with small wonders if we just look up. At the beginning of each year, You fill us with hope, if we look for You in the moment. Yet, we forget. We get gloomy. We feel overwhelmed. Now reveal Yourself to us we pray. Help us know You so well, we recognize Your beautiful Spirit in those we love. Even when they’re testing our last bit of patience and making us crazy. Even then, especially then, we want to love others like You do. Give us grace for ourselves so we can love others graciously.
Specifically, please bless my new friend Deb with Your words for the projects You have her working on. Bless all our writing friends with supernatural wisdom and self-discipline. Thank You for all the prayers You answered this past year, many in ways too miraculous to comprehend. Many of Your answers are so beautiful we’ve already taken them for granted. In particular, we especially call Your attention to those who received healing. Thank You. And for those whose broken hearts grieve, we ask Your comfort again today. Bless us now because that is your heart’s desire. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
❤️❤️❤️
Cathy Krafve, host of Fireside Talk Radio and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. We welcome your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com.
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