I don’t want to have this conversations. We need to have this conversation. And I’m not sure how this conversation would go. Every person who’s ever been married can relate to those feelings. Marriage conversations can be tough. How do we begin? 

“I went through a lot of therapy to save my marriage which didn’t work and some of the communication skills I learned were too little too late,” reports Sandra. 

Want to listen in on the nitty gritty when it comes to marriage conversations? Sandra Beck invited me to return to Motherhood Talk Radio. Just two gals talking truth about what works and what doesn’t work. In marriage and in real life. 

By the way, if you’re looking for tender, fun, practical help, don’t miss my book, Marriage Conversations: From Coexisting to Cherished. It’s written just for you!

Marriage Conversations: The Universal Challenge

For many years, when David and I hit snags, we couldn’t figure out how to talk to each other. We were convinced it was just us. Somehow we were bad people. Or bad Christians. 

Then, we began to talk a little more openly to our closest friends. Yep, we were desperate. Interestingly, we discovered marriage conversations were a problem for a bunch of our friends, too. Lo and behold, communicating turned out to pretty much be a universal challenge!  

Who hasn’t figured things out only after the damage is done? I can relate. We all can. All relationships need rebooting sometimes with a good conversation. Communities can be changed with one good conversation!

Rebooting Marriage Conversations. Really ALL Conversations!

What can we change at home to train ourselves and our kiddos to have terrific conversations? Each chapter of Marriage Conversations offers great ideas you can try out at your house. Here are a few things that worked at our house:

• Negotiate like an Oil Tycoon
• Creating a Personal Etiquette
• Only Keeping What We Give Away
• Power Questions
• Fellowship as the Best Foreplay

We Slogged Ahead

So, Dave and I slogged ahead. Yuck. Like trudging through a chilly winter night in clumsy snow boots, we were determined to survive.

Fortunately, we transitioned from being really poor communicators to working hard at great communication with each other. Soon, we picked up tons of new skills. Good thing, too, since we really NEEDED new skills!

Marriage Conversations

Why does conversation at home have to be so hard? What makes it hard? How do you keep hanging in there when it’s hard?

We have these three fabulous grown kids. Before they were married, I began collecting all these great family stories about marriage. I wanted to give them foundational principles. 

Honestly, I just wanted them to have happier stories than some of the ones they witnessed in our home along the way. 

I pulled a bunch of my columns from the local paper related to marriage and family. Then, I started writing down a whole collection of stories for our kids. Stuff I never planned to share in public. Oh, my goodness, no!

This was a fat document. I copied it and gave to them for Christmas. I called our family story book, Mom Was Right After All. The mom was MY Mom, not me!

To my surprise, our kids kept asking me to make copies for their friends.

Sandra Understood Immediately

That’s when we realized we needed a publisher who understood what we were trying to accomplish. Our goal: to give people skills and hope to keep building better relationships. 

But first God brought Sandra into my life to help me write like I talk, with my Texas twang!

Yep, I tend to go professorial whenever I write Bible stuff. Yawn! Boring was a bad habit I had to break. The Bible is far from boring. It’s practically R-rated! No one, especially me, wants to be preached at in books or in conversation. 

Sandra understood immediately what I wanted to give people. Down-to-earth. Real help. Real compassion. Top notch communication skills.

“For people like me, my Mom has passed away. My Dad, I love him. He’ll tell you any sports score, but he’s not going to be able to tell you anything about how he feels except maybe the Super Bowl win,” laughs Sandra.

 A Confession, Not a Sermon

So much of what I wrote is more of a confession. My kids were there when we were struggling in the first twenty years of our marriage. I wanted them to understand why marriage conversations can be hard. And what Dave and I learned to do differently. 

Our marriage is better now because skills can be learned. I feel cherished in my own home. I wanted my kids to have the tools we acquired. But I wanted them to have communication skills sooner. Now.

Nobody’s perfect. David and I are still sinners. We still get mad at each other. But, for instance, there’s a whole chapter about how to change an argument back into a conversation in this book. 

From Co-existing to Cherished

“I love what you said about coexisting,” says Sandra. 

Coexisting. Women are not crazy if their marriage feels lonely. Basically, my publisher helped me choose coexisting because many women experience isolation even in their own home. 

Yep, women want to be cherished. Good marriage conversations can help us get there. Next week, we’ll will share more.

We LOVE to hear from YOU!

How has conversation helped reestablish a relationship in your life? When has conversation failed? Which attitudes do you find make conversation impossible?

May we pray together?

Dear good Father, we want to communicate well, but we fail. Often, we actually make matters worse with poor skills. You are the great communicator. You spoke the world and everything in it into existence. Your Son is called the Word. You amaze us b communicating with us. And Your message is always full of love and compassion for us. Oh, how we want to be like you! Help us, Oh Lord, to create rather than destroy with our mouths! Bless us now because that is Your heart’s desire. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Share a Book, Write a Review

People are telling us they love our books. We’re so happy they are helping. Please consider buying two. One to bless yourself and one to bless someone else! 

Then, help us by writing a review. And THANK YOU!!!!

For The Well:  https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B08M4G1Q6Z

For Marriage Conversations: https://Amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=1936501562

Your Own Upcoming Conversational Adventures

Are you dreaming of your own conversational adventures? Could the right conversation change everything in your life? How can we take a deep breath and step into our fear of rejection?

At Camp Krafve, we’re creating tools to help you pass along bold, noble ideas.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Cathy Krafve, host of Fireside Talk Radio and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. We welcome your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang!