How do we know if our marriage is worth saving? Great question. Don’t most couples hit a brick wall some time along the way?

If you know me at all, you know I prefer fun. Don’t we all? But today, I’m sharing 2 Serious Videos that answer 2 serious questions.

• “How do I know if my marriage is worth saving?”
• “Forgiving my spouse feels impossible after what’s happened. How can I even begin to heal?”

I’m not a counselor. I’ve never even played a counselor on TV. I just share “Mom Opinions.”

Maybe Mom Opinion is too fancy for what I do. I share stories from my own years of experience (many, many long, long years) that hopefully other people can relate to.

Refuse to be Isolated

Why do I continue to share such personal stories? THAT is an excellent question. The answer: So none of us have to feel alone as we try to figure out the hard stuff.

David and I decided to share because nobody told us they were suffering, too, until it was almost too late for our marriage.

Bluntly, when we needed encouragement, it was hard to find. Did everyone else have a perfect marriage and family, except us?

Once we admitted to some close friends how bad things had gotten, some people actually laughed! Yes, laughed! Like it was no big deal. Fine. It felt like a big deal to me.

As I began to share my own story, other women began to tell theirs, too. Quietly. In whispers. With tears and heartbreak and much prayer.

Thankfully, we got some great advice. And prayer. Along with the chuckles at our naivete.

So now we keep sharing. Me, the extrovert of the family, doing most of the sharing. David, the introvert, listening, encouraging, and praying. Both of us putting aside false shame to be vulnerable. Not easy, but oh-so-worth-it.

Serious Video #1: A Marriage Worth Saving

“How do I know if my marriage is worth saving?”

I hope there are moments in your marriage that light up your heart. But even if you can’t think of them in this exact moment, listen to the next serious video, too, please. It includes an action plan you can apply immediately.

Serious Video #2

“Forgiving my spouse feels impossible after what’s happened. How can I even begin to heal?”

Please don’t throw away your marriage in a fit of marriage fatigue. If you are in danger, obviously, seek safety immediately. No matter what, you owe it to yourself to safely take the time you need to process. Please consider seeking the kind of professional or religious counseling that will help you in your personal situation.

Serious Videos, Seriously Personal

Sometimes people ask me seriously if I give marriage advice. The answer is, “No, I think I’m very bad at marriage!”

Or, maybe marriage is just harder than I expected. Or maybe, like I often say, I am an expert on sin. (There are moments when Dave would definitely agree. 🤣)

Seriously, though, marriage is a seriously personal process. It takes two people. And it can get very lonely.

Here are some quick ideas that may help, especially when you feel isolated:

• Many churches and communities offer free or affordable professional counseling.
• Seek out like-minded people willing to commit, like a family group at church or trustworthy friends.
• If you strike out with friends at first, hang in there. Other people are looking and you will find each other.
• When you find a trustworthy friend, initiate get-togethers but be flexible. People are busy.
• Share slowly and carefully at first to establish trust.
• Never repeat a confidence. Trust is a two-way street.
• Surround yourself with folks who speak positive comments over your life, not negative ones.
• Tune in to our blogs, podcasts, and books for much more.

Beyond Serious Videos: Called to Share

I started out feeling called to share about how I got emotionally and spiritually well after an abortion.

Believe me, going public with that info was a very big decision. It affected everyone in our family. If you’ve been blessed by our family’s decision, please tell my grown kids when you see them. If it helped you, it will be worth it to them.

But please don’t assume my grandkids know because we let them grow up first.

From there, we expanded to marriage, parenting, family, and culture. The common denominator we soon discovered, is our love of communicating effectively. So now we commit to change culture one conversation at a time. The hard conversations we call conversational adventures because they take courage. And patience.

What’s Next? More Sacred Moments

We are creating new resources and sharing them just as fast as we can. Since communication in families is always our focus, we are currently wrapping up a manuscript focused on crafts, character, and conversations with kids. Really delightful stuff!

I hope you are surrounded by people whose stories encourage you. My prayer is you share your own stories generously. I know what a blessing it is to me when someone comes up to tell me a story no one else knows. These are sacred moments I cherish.

You are very dear to my heart.

🙂

Cathy

Why Men Crave Sex? The Answer Will Surprise You

If you missed last week’s blog about why men crave sex, please go to it now. Seriously! I share Grace English’s podcast with Chris Legg and another video from my collection of embarrassing stories on myself.

Let’s Pray Together

Dear good Father, at this moment, people could be feeling like divorce is the only option. Isolation is Satan’s favorite trick. Help us resist the enemy. Please comfort us all now with Your presence. Marriage is hard, but it is meant to reflect Your glory, Your tenderness. Give us courage to have the conversations we need to have. And patience as we wait for You to answer prayers. Sometimes our prayers are so painful we don’t have words for them. Thank You for being our tender Companion and Savior of our souls. If anyone reading these words does not understand them, please bring someone today who can explain about Your beautiful Son’s death and resurrection. Bless us now, please, because that is Your heart’s desire. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

We love to hear from YOU!

How could your church stir up more true fellowship and support marriages better? What is your favorite way to stand against feelings of isolation? Would you share good ideas or questions for future videos?

Do you belong to a small church in need of FREE resources, like books, Bible Studies, and speakers? If yes, please contact me!

Please Pray AND Buy Books

One of the BEST ways you can help us change the conversation around marriage in our culture is to buy books. Seriously.

Together we can change the culture one conversation at a time. That starts in our own families. (Find more videos here.)

I truly believe for those who want to reboot their marriage and rediscover the marriage of their dreams, Marriage Conversations is terrific! I am so thankful to CrossRiver Media for all their help with it. So, please share my book with those you love. (And don’t miss the one I wrote about last week from author, pastor, counselor Chris Legg.)

This month, CrossRiver Media is doing a full blitz of my book, Marriage Conversations. (You can get the first chapter FREE here.) PLEASE share all the videos, memes, podcasts, or articles CrossRiver is creating this month. Thank you very much.

And speaking of isolation, we LOVE all the ways Jesus took a woman from isolation to influence. In one conversation. I explored His communication techniques in The Well. Special thanks to Elk Lake Publishing for The Well.

FREE Resources for Small Churches

If I can serve you or your church in any way, I hope you will let me. Contact me, if you want to know more about:

• how to sponsor resources for small churches to grow in better communication, or
• how to cultivate better communication in your church.

Thank you for sharing my books with your friends. The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations. or Marriage Conversations: From Coexisting to Cherished. To join the Fireside Tribe and receive our FREE weekly interviews, blogs, and podcasts, hit the yellow button below.

If you love the books and want to get them for your Bible Study or Sunday school or, heck, any group, just let me know. My publishers allow us to offer group discounts.

Click here to find our books: Marriage Conversations: from co-existing to cherished, The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations 

❤️ You’re Invited to Join the Fireside Tribe ❤️

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Hope for the Weary: James 4:6-10

“But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

‘God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.’

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”