How can we instill tender, responsive hearts in our kids and grandkids? Hymns and poetry can help. Not only that, they also help young readers learn to sequence their syllables and process deep concepts. Pretty cool stuff.
And this from a grandmother who used to scoff at poetry. Ouch! I’m a late-in-life poetry convert. (Kinda like the way Anna convinced me to revisit comic books. 😂)
Responsiveness: Compassion vs. Co-dependence
We’re all watching as confused leaders turn our culture into a nation of victims. Co-dependence is passed off as compassion. We all want to respond when others hurt. But we don’t want to fall for the lie.
Never in my lifetime has it been more important for moms and dads to teach their kids to respond with wisdom when others are hurting. Helping folks stay in victim status is NOT compassion.
In today’s episode, we’re together at Anna’s house, sharing a mic and bumping elbows. And laughing. In the next room, two of our favorite little readers are playing independently of Mom.
Poetry and Prophetic Words
“I just pulled a random hymnal off top of my pile,” Anna begins, unfolding a story about a Christmas gift I gave the kids. “It happens to be the one she (Cathy) gave my husband. She didn’t just buy a hymnal for the whole family, she bought one for each of us and then wrote to all of us in the front.”
I was not expecting this intimate detail to make it on air. But conversations with Ann are always full of surprises. Then, she reads the inscription I wrote many years ago. I haven’t read it since that day.
“Dear Drew (that’s my husband, says Anna), May you lead your family in courage and confidence ever towards the throne of the mighty I Am. Much love, Cathy”
Okay. Not bad. And I claim prophetic because Drew certainly does just that.
Seriously, I’m the most musically-challenged mama on the planet. So it’s kinda comical how much I love hymnals. But of course the words really resonate with my heart. And we’ve discovered hymns also resonate in the naturally responsive hearts of little ones.
Follow the DOTS to Responsiveness
Confession: I went through today’s whole podcast saying “dots” instead of “notes.” In a podcast extolling VOCABULARY!!
Finally, Anna asked, “Do you mean notes, Mama?” Hahaha! I’m sure there are piano teachers in heaven groaning about now! Then, Anna switched to “dots” so I would know what she was talking about!
When you teach your children to follow the dots, that’s got to be good. In life and in reading.
Teaching children to follow the dots, ahem, notes in the hymnal trains their eyes to move left to right more naturally, ie “sequence” in reading teacher jargon.
Favorite Books For Parents
By the way, in spite of the fact that I’m a musically-challenged mom, Anna became a proficient flautist and also played the piccolo. So there’s hope for our kids, no matter how insufficient their parents might feel. It’s all a matter of tracking down the right people to help you!
Anna and I both started out as slow readers who grew into adults who consume mountains of books.
Speaking of great books, Anna wanted to share a favorite kids’ Bible from Drew’s collection. Drew reads to their kids every night out of one of his kids’ Bibles.
As an artist, educator, and mom, she’s a big fan of The Action Bible, illustrated by comic book artist Sergio Cariello, for helping young readers especially with sequencing.
Next, I want to mention one of my personal favorite quick reads about parenting, The Apprenticeship of Being Human, by author Graham Scharf. Nobody pays us to share; we just like to pass on good stuff to you because we love you.
Music Unites
Of course, music unifies us. Simultaneously, poems and prayers often serve as lyrics in the anthems that unite us.
“God bless you Texas! And keep you brave and strong, That you may grow in power and worth, Thro’out the ages long.” ~Refrain in the State Song of Texas.
Here’s a quote from another popular hymn, poem, and prayer serving as an anthem:
“God mend thine every flaw, Confirm thy soul in self-control, Thy liberty in law!” ~America the Beautiful
Just like in the movie, The Sound of Music, when they sing Edelweiss, we’ve faced so much disunity in America lately, music is a beautiful way to unite people.
Hymns, Poetry, Prayers, Vocabulary, and Responsiveness
How can hymnals help you respond to other people’s needs? Can hymnals teach your kids to interact with others more lovingly? Yes. By expanding our vocabulary!
Did you know having an extensive vocabulary helps your child become successful adults? Yes, research proves it. (See my fave by Graham Scharf.) Poetry, quotes, written prayers, and hymns all boost your child’s vocabulary and create tender conversational moments.
“One thing I love about our family is quotes. We latch on to beautiful wisdom that’s memorable from other people. We adopt it (their wisdom),” says Anna. “I remember quotes better when they’re to music.”
How hymns teach children to respond lovingly to others?
I packed a lot into to today’s definition of responsiveness. I wanted to distinguish between co-dependence masquerading as compassion in families. For example, maybe a mom serves everyone in the family, but needs a little compassion herself. (Did I say maybe? I mean certainly!)
Camp Krafve Definition of Responsive: Committed to listening, pondering, and praying before acting on behalf of the best interests of all involved.
We are living in a co-dependent culture now, it seems. Often people want to help each other, but they don’t necessarily help in a way that leads to responsible adulthood. Sometimes, our motives can be confusing.
“Music allows me to access my emotions, my heart, and the inner part of who I am more easily. I become more responsive to God’s Spirit when I am participating in sound and song,” Anna says, “I’m so thankful for all those lessons and all the years you invested to get me to where I could understand music.”
To borrow an idea from The Apprenticeship of Being Human: if you give your children the right vocabulary when they’re between 0 and 3 yrs old —that’s pre-schoolers—then they can access their emotions easier.
Since music expands our vocabulary, then it helps us access our soul better, too. Combining music, poetry, and vocabulary means the net effect makes us better at connecting with others. More responsive.
Plus, since King David mandated the musicians’ duties in the same way he spelled out Moses’ instructions about the sacrificial duties at the Temple in Jerusalem, music must be super important. A truly essential part of worship. And true worship is cherishing God with an obedient, responsive heart.
Turn Off the TV and Turn on Responsiveness
I am a late convert to poetry. But now I know, poetry can put our inner person in touch with God. The Psalms are particularly nourishing.
The rhythm of the poems makes poetry entertaining and musical to your pre-school kiddos. And it will help them get in touch with their emotions, too.
The more you read rhythmic poetry with your older kids, the more your younger ones will pick up the idea that words are broken up into syllables.
Singing hymns and reading poetry out loud are easy, if we turn off the TV long enough.
“That’s really hard,” Anna laughs.
TV is one way people tell stories. I’m such a fan of literature, I have to remind myself my hubby loves TV because he loves stories.
If you love music and you’re gifted at it, please please share it with people who are musically-challenged! Never be afraid to stand up and sing.
“I’m just thankful I get to pray to God, and sometimes it’s in song,” Anna says in closing.
Me, too.
🙂
Cathy
We love to hear from YOU!
How does your family incorporate music and poetry into your daily life? What’s your favorite hymn and why? Do you belong to a small church in need of resources, like books, Bible Studies, and speakers?
Let’s Pray Together
Dear good Father, Thank You for loving us. You gave us the exceptional ability to communicate with words. Wow! What an amazing imagination You have, dear Creator! Help us use words to honor You. Forgive us when we use our words to curse, rather than bless. We want to raise generations who honor You with their hearts and words. Bless us now, please, because that is Your heart’s desire. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Which Hymnal to Get Your Family?
Just in this blog, especially for you, I’m sharing my personal opinion about the personality of some of my favorite hymnals.
- African American—Rare to find, but very American. So worth the effort to track one down. Black spirituals reflect tried and true, stalwart faith fostered during intense persecution and suffering.
- Baptist—whole worship experience of mind, body, will, and soul (including emotions)
- Catholic—Like the Episcopalians, the Catholics include prayers for virtually any experience. I find them helpful, especially when it comes to meditation.
- Episcopal—Nice cross section, especially of American hymns from the 1800s, plus they include prayers.
- Lutheran—Biblical knowledge passed down via music courtesy of Concordia Publishing
- Methodist—traditional, formal, heavy on the beautiful hymns of the Wesleys
- Nondenominational—Mixture of all of the above. Sometimes missing cherished favorites in favor of more modern “pop” hymns
I like them all, so there’s no judgment in my generalization. Can you guess which ones we favor at Camp Krafve? (See favorite quotes below 📚 to find out which hymnals we use at our house.)
Special Note: My dear cousin introduced me to taking hymnals to the hospital when we visit because everyone has a favorite hymn or finds hymns comforting. (Shout out to Leslie. Love ya, cousin!)
More Favorite Quotes:
“For me, every time I sing a hymn it encourages me to love others because I hear all those people who have loved me well.” ~Anna Krafve Pierce in today’s podcast.
“You are the music while the music lasts.” ~T. S. Eliot
“Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world.” ~Martin Luther, German priest, theologian, author, hymn writer, professor, and Augustinian friar.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” ~Colossians 3:16
📚Which hymn do we like the best? We have ALL the hymnals on that list and many more! We have a full set of Baptist Hymnals for our family times, but I collect random hymnals. More confession: Today’s blog was my excuse to order a couple more! I am now the proud owner of a Presbyterian hymnal. I am running out of shelf space. I need to review Anna’s thoughts on helping our kids’ curate their collections.
Resources for Small Churches
If I can serve you or your church in any way, I hope you will let me. Contact me, if you want to know more about:
- how to sponsor resources for small churches to grow in better communication, or
- how to cultivate better communication in your church.
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Cathy Krafve, host of Fireside Talk Radio and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. Your stories, ideas, and questions welcomed here!
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