Clean up your room! I begged, inspired, cajoled, rewarded, bribed. Nothing worked. Anna shares how curating your child’s collections can reward Mommy and children both.
Today, Anna shares tips about how parents can change their approach to one of the most frustrating challenges a parent faces. Getting your child to clean up. With a great attitude.
Seem impossible? Glen Campbell sings To Dream the Impossible Dream in my head today.
So how do we get them to clean up? By teaching them to curate their collections so they can focus on what really matters.
We want our kids and grandkids to lives that leave us gasping with delight. That only happens when they understand priorities are people, not stuff.
A Cleaning Dynamo
“Gammy, come see what’s in my room.” The little dynamo took my hand gently to guide me. Who could resist such persuasive powers?
“Don’t you want to clean up?” Yep, her room was a gigantic mess. Trust me when I say my cleaning prowess is becoming a thing with this little one.
“Has your big brother been in here playing with fairy wings and dropping tutus all over the floor?” I asked as I began tucking hair accessories and dress up clothes back in drawers.
Just how many tutus can one child wear? Surely no more than 4. Okay, maybe 5.
Curating the Collections
Christmas is the perfect time to curate your child’s collections. For example, it’s a perfect time to teach kids to share by donating things they’ve outgrown.
In fact, the only thing I let my kids stockpile were books and craft supplies.
Fortunately, our kids are all sentimental about books. When they left home, they took their books and some of mine. If you wonder which books to keep, find Anna’s thoughts on censoring our children’s reading list here.
I can’t explain how the craft supplies still multiply here.
“I don’t know if everyone on the planet is a collector. Maybe we’re all, as human beings, designed to collect things. But everybody related to me is,” laughs Anna.
Mom’s Bad Attitude Transformed
Well, if you listen in on our conversation you’ll hear a lot more of my bad attitude about clean up. But you’ll also get more practical ways to apply Anna’s better approach. Here are a few quick tips:
#1 Think and Teach Stewardship.
“Rather than saying, ‘We’re gonna throw away all your toys, which is a temptation of parents. I really sometimes want to go in there with a black trash bag.”
Ahem, now where on earth could she have ever gotten that idea?
Instead, ‘If you don’t take care of the beautiful things you have, we will not be accepting new things,’ Anna explains to her small children. She wants them to understand stewardship means taking care of what God has entrusted to you in order to bless others.
#2 Help Your Child Live Up to Age Appropriate
“Kids do outgrow things. I try to do it on a day when we’ve had good obedience. When I’ve been focused on my children and we’re in a good place,” says Anna.
Then she helps her son clean up and cull with a simple question, for instance.
“Which of these are too babyish for you?” Of course, he knows immediately.
“We even have a ‘truck friend’ who gets our hand-me-downs and he’s thrilled by them. It makes it easy to give them away,” she adds.
Also, “Which ones don’t fit in the box?” can clarify why clean up is difficult.
“That’s another thing about collections, we have a designated amount of space.”
#3 Cull By Comparison
When rooms need a clean up and space gets tight, you can cull by comparison, according to Anna.
“Do you like this one more or do you like this one more?” She helps her kids group their toys in piles of similar objects.
“We put the ones he loves in his arms so his arms get full,” Anna says. Then, she puts the culled ones out of sight.
“Not in the trash can. Not in a black bag. Nothing dramatic. We just put it where we can’t see it anymore,” she laughs.
Dramatic? Well, ahem, who knew clean up and getting rid of stuff could be so, ahem, gentle and kind?
For items they tend to stockpile, you can cull by threes and fours. “Which is your favorite?”
#4 Respect Ownership
Anna emphasizes that the kids’ things belong to them. Even when they fail to clean up.
“Their possessions are theirs; they’ve been given to them.” But still, sometimes mommy needs to cut herself some slack, too. Not every moment can be a teaching moment with work, meals, and oh-my-goodness, so much stuff to do.
Sometimes Anna sets unwanted toys on the floor in the living room. When no one touches it for a week, she knows it’s time to whisk it away to the donation box at Hangers of Hope.
“No one ever notices. It’s a lot less emotional energy. But I’m anti-black-bag,” she laughs.
Let’s face it, I never pulled out a black trash bag when I was in a happy mood. It was always when I was grumpy. Basically, having a mommy-sized temper tantrum.
#5 Donations and Entrepreneurship
Anna reminded me I gave a whole collection of DVDs to the local library. Anna often gives me credit for things I totally don’t remember. But I’m pretty sure that’s one donation I made with a black-trash-bag-attitude.
“I thought that was brilliant. But of course, I’m pro-library. Even as a kid, anything we did with the library I thought was awesome,” says Anna.
Hey, sometimes you get credit for stuff you don’t even know you’re doing right as a mom.
“We donate a lot. But at some point, I’ll let my children have a garage sale,” she adds. “We’ll learn about counting and money and entrepreneurialism. We’ll sell some of the things we don’t need anymore in order to finance the new collections.” Collections focused on blessing others.
Collections that Bless
Some collections take up space and push people away. Some well-curated collections draw people into your life.
Lucky for us, one prime example of a talented curator is our friend, Mo McSwane. Going to her house is like visiting a life-size fairy garden, delightful for people of all ages.
Lately, Mo inspires the youngest generation of our family. When Anna’s daughter walked through the door recently, she discovered several bowls of sea glass.
“They might as well have been diamonds and emeralds,” Anna reports.
Sharing the Wonder
Mo stages her collections so they’re delightful for people, especially small people.
It’s a fine thing to have a collection of cherished objects in the back of the closet, according to Anna. Of course, certain things should be savored in just the right moment of your child’s life.
“But part of the wonder of that collection of sea glass was the sunlight coming down and hitting it in those big bowls. And the sheer quantity of it that made it more gorgeous,” she says, emphasizing how accessible Mo’s collections are for little ones.
Mo focuses the way she presents her collections, honoring each collection so that its beauty makes it valuable to share.
Maybe the best thing about Mo’s collections is her beautiful heart. Her desire to share the wonder of interesting objects. Some manmade and some God-made.
Clean Up Their Rooms to Help Them Focus
Perhaps that’s the main difference between curating and censoring. Curating is about focusing in and sharing the wonder. Censoring is about judging and condemning.
So how does curating their collections help your child? It helps them focus on people, not stuff.
Here’s our Camp Krafve definition of Focused: Understanding God’s big purpose for your life and claiming the gumption to believe in it. Yep, gumption is a theme with us.
“Collecting really does take focus. Because it’s not just one beach where Mo has picked up sea glass. It’s probably every beach she’s ever been to,” says Anna. “She has a purpose for it and a place for it. And a way of making it beautiful.”
A Beautiful Life
Not to mention Mo’s generous heart to want to share the wonder of God’s amazing interaction with us.
For more about the beautiful life Mo shares with her family, find our interview with her husband Doug, here. And our interview with her daughter Marcie, here.
“Collecting can be something that slows you down in life because you have so many things, you no longer have room for people. Or ambitions. Or for anything else. Because you have to take care of all those things and it takes space and time and energy,” adds Anna.
Curating the Beauty of the Written Word
As a writer, editors are my favorite curators. I’m so grateful for people who are willing to cut words and ideas that are distracting out of my work. I love my editors for the focus they give.
Anna also pointed out that collecting knowledge is another way to share wonder, if you focus and curate.
“Mom, you curate these podcasts. You invite people and you’re so thankful and honored when people tell you yes and want to share their stories. But that’s a curative— a curating process, where you’re going out and asking certain people that you admire. That’s a collection that you’re creating.”
Nope, I never thought of podcasting as a way of collecting and curating other people’s wisdom. But I love the way Anna thinks of things differently. My collection is a lot less messy on my floor than my granddaughter’s tutus, too.
Peace of Mind
If you ever see anything Mo writes, it usually includes #tryingtoliveabeautifullife. Because of her loving heart, beautiful life has become a phrase she has planted in my own heart. Like me, I bet you want a beautiful life, too.
Speaking of beautiful, look up Peace of Mind Conferences on YouTube. As part of the McSwane’s response to life sorrows, they partnered up with many people to create resources for anyone whose family is affected by mental illness.
Nationally known experts to come to East Texas for the Peace of Mind Conference. Their stories and wisdom is recorded and put on the internet so everyone can benefit.
“A gorgeous collection,” adds Anna.
We Do It For YOU
Are you wondering why we, too, started collecting people’s sacred stories over 3 years ago? We wanted to share practical help from people who suffered trauma or loss and lived to victory. Those folks are our heroes. If they can conquer life’s trials, surely we can, too. With God’s help.
You are the reason we keep plugging away with our podcast and blog collection. Because we LOVE hearing the stories you send us. YOU are our heroes.
Starting in January, I’ll be rebooting my website to make all these fabulous stories easier to find. Please pray for me. Tech always makes me sweat.
If you want to help uplift our culture, please Join the Fireside Tribe. You’ll receive our weekly podcasts, blogs, and interviews with experts. Finally and most importantly, let me know if you have any suggestions on what could make our stuff better. I love it when folks help me curate!
🙂
cathy
May we pray together?
Dear good Father, Thank You for all who choose to look to You for a beautiful life. Help us honor You by making time in our lives for people. Give us wisdom as we curate everything– our stuff, our time, our knowledge, our sacred stories. Help us invite others into Your love. Over the last few days You’ve been moving n the lives of writing friends and I pray specifically with them in mind that You encourage and inspire them as they write, dear Lord. Thank You for their beautiful hearts. Also, Lord, there are many who suffer during the holidays because they miss loved ones. Bless and mend broken hearts now. Fill us with joy in Your presence, dear King of Heaven and Earth! We worship You! Thank You for the Savior who came to us as the Son of Man. We rejoice with the angels and praise you, shouting, “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” (Luke 2:14, NKJV). We love You. Thank You for blessing us now because that’s Your heart’s desire. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
We LOVE to hear from YOU!
How are you helping your kids focus on people, not stuff? What creative projects will you do with your kids over the holidays? Do you have some new ways of thinking for the new year?
Christmas Shopping Made Easy!
My friend Neita Fran Ward carries our books every day at Valerosa in Tyler. But you can also order them.
- The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations
- Marriage Conversations: From Co-existing to Cherished
Join the Fireside Tribe to help uplift our culture and receive our weekly podcasts, blogs, and interviews with experts.
The holidays can be depressing. Please read one of my favorite posts about how one man responded when he suffered a crisis. I hope you will share his beautiful life with others.
More Favorite Quotes about Curating
“He (Charles Primer) collected knowledge. That’s a collection.” ~Anna Krafve Pierce about her grandfather.
“Isn’t that the only way to curate a life? To live among things that make you gasp with delight.”~Maira Kalman, My Favorite Things, artist and author, children’s author (What Pete Ate and others)
“Spend enough time wrangling a toddler, and you get good at being kind but firm. Like your child, you must be doggedly single-minded when it matters.”~Celeste Ng, author ofEverything I Never Told You and Little Fires Everywhere
“Every day is a gift from God. Learn to focus on the Giver and enjoy the gift!” ~Joyce Meyer, Christian speaker out of St. Louis
“Focus on doing the right things instead of a bunch of things.” ~Mike Krieger, Instagram founder
“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” ~ Mark 8:36 NKJV
❤️❤️❤️
Cathy Krafve, host of Fireside Talk Radio and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. We welcome your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com.
❤️Truth with a Texas Twang! ❤️
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