Kristin Faith Evans is the mother of two beloved children with unrelated, unpredicted rare genetic birth disorders. She’s learned the secret of keeping life filled with joy even when dark clouds threaten. 

For the last almost 20 years, her daily life abounds with joy AND one challenging, interesting, amazing experience after another. Find her full story here: Dark Place or Mommy Care? Oxygen and Comfort for Mom.

Both Kristen and I remember what it was like to have young children. If you think it’s hard, you’re not crazy.

Most mommies have extra things happening. Fear. Postpartum. Special Needs Kids. Marriage transitions. Financial strain. The list is long. Heck, just household chores can be exhausting!

Folks in the pews at church may feel too intimidated to talk about what they’re facing at home. Maybe the gal sitting next to you feels like she’s drowning, overwhelmed with responsibilities. Or perhaps you feel too sensitive to ask her friend if she’s hurting. Where would you begin a conversation like that?

God Still Works Miracles

In our last podcast, Kristin shared how grieving, bitterness, depression, trauma, and yes, even PTSD, culminated in a mental health crisis. The chemistry in our body changes when we experience trauma. For more on the impact of trauma on the brain, check out out interview with Judge Carole Clark.

Her crisis created a dark moment for Kristin.

She also shares some of the reasons she didn’t seek help until almost too late. Motherhood can take us to a dark place. Satan, of course, wants to beat us down and destroy us if he can.

Finally, Kristin attempted suicide. Miraculously, Kristin woke up in ICU!

When she told me her doctors said, “It’s a miracle!” I wanted to shout, Amen! 

My new friend Kristin IS a miracle. Thank You, God, for intervening and saving this beautiful woman’s life! On behalf of everyone who knows and loves Kristin, thank You, Lord!

As a mental health therapist, Kristen understands all moms need a little compassion. Often it’s especially hard to talk in these sensitive, tender moments.

Walking Toward Sweet Victory

“My therapist basically looked at me and said, ‘You have three choices.’ The choices were you can continue to live miserably, you can attempt suicide again. Or you can learn to embrace and accept your life as it is,” Kristin explains. 

Tough love may not always sound like compassion, but truth is freedom. 

“I walked away feeling hopeless. Because I’d lost my faith in God. If I didn’t have that, there was not hope for anything else,” she adds.

Fortunately, walking around turned out to be a lifesaver for Kristin, in more ways than one. Find more on prayer walking.

“We had a beautiful state park near our home. So I got out of the house actually and was hiking through the woods.”

Trying to take care of herself, she pushed on. Soon, she arrived at a lake she’d seen countless times in the past. 

Hard, Yet Victorious Choices

“But that day the way the light was shimmering off the boulders and the water; it was just gorgeous. It was stunning. I stopped in my tracks and thought, How could God create something that beautiful and not be good? But how could my daughter be suffering and God be good?” 

With joy, she describes her experience as “the biggest aha moment” of her life. Clearly, she may never know the answer to that last question, but she made a decision to release herself.

“I’m going to release that need to understand and embrace faith and trust God even though I don’t understand,” she recounts, “And that was the turning moment. You know, it didn’t happen instantaneously. Magically, everything didn’t get better. But that was the moment where I made that choice and that decision to fully dive into my life trusting God for help and strength.”

Then, she adds with a laugh, “And from there, it was a lotta hard work!” 

If. like Kirstin, you’re the mom of special needs child, she has tons of resources and articles on a special website she created just for you: SpecialNeedsMomsBlog.com. ❤️ (Note: I was confused on air, so please spell needS and momS in the plural.)

God With Us

When I asked Kristin about Jesus’s companionship in our suffering, her thoughts struck me as profound. So I hated to cut anything. Instead, I’m chose an excerpt  for you here:

“I’ve grown to understand that regardless of all I went through, God was with me, Jesus was with me. And He was there, offering to counsel me, comfort me, and just be there as my Healer. Just God with me. I do believe He was crying with me. 

And in those heated moments where I was so angry and said, God, Jesus, how could you let this happen? He was standing there, absorbing that with a loving expression on His face, ready to talk. I can see that now and I experience that now. I do believe He was there through it all suffering and crying with me.” ~Kristin Faith Evans, an excerpt from When Dark Clouds Threaten on Fireside Talk Radio

Find more of her story in Dark Place or Mommy Care? Oxygen and Comfort for Mom.

Gratitude: The Antidote for Bitterness

Today, Kristin’s joy permeates every conversation we have. Seriously, it’s truly hard to imagine this bright warrior in a dark place, feeling alone and overwhelmed. 

For that reason, I couldn’t wait for Kristin to share how she regained the natural joy God designed in her. 

“Of course, my first step in learning to live in freedom and joy was going back to God. And saying, I trust You. I want to find my strength and joy in You,” she begins. “Once I had my hope back in a deeper way than ever before, then I was able to want to start to figuring out how to live joyfully.”

Kristin’s Hacks for Joy No Matter the Circumstances

Gratitude

Earlier she noted bitterness as the starting point for her downward spiral. Naturally, I immediately thought of gratitude as the antidote for bitterness.

“Gratitude is very significant,” she says. “Especially thanking God.”

She talks about being thankful for small things. For instance, waking up in the morning with both kids healthy and home from the hospital. Here are a few things on her personal list of joyful practices:

• Of course, look to God for the source of daily joy.
• Make that choice to be grateful.
• Tune in with gratitude for simple pleasures, like a child’s smile.
• Live in the moment. 
• Find humor. Laugh with abandon.

For an example of moment by moment joy, Kristin looks no further than her own miracle daughter, Bethany Grace.

“I’ve learned a lot from her. She just loves life,” reports Kristin tenderly, “And it doesn’t matter what she’s going through, what challenge. She bursts out that door saying, ‘Good morning!’ Not even supposed to be able to talk! I’ve learned from her to love life.” 

Kristin also emphasizes “learning to find humor has totally changed our lives, our family, our marriage for lots of reasons. It can change your whole outlook on the day.”

Self-Care

Self-care turned out to be essential for Kirstin. Now she’s a big proponent.

“I do want to say to women, if you are struggling with mental health, depression, anxiety, postpartum, maybe even trauma, that does not make you weak. There’s not anything wrong with you,” she says. “Just because you are struggling with mental health, that does not make you  a weak Christian. That doesn’t make your faith weak.”

Asking God to help us talk about our struggles, live openly, and seek help takes tons of courage, according to Kristin.

“I just want to say, if you are in darkness, if you are in hopelessness, there is always hope,” she emphasizes, adding “But you have to reach out. You absolutely have to reach out.”

Relational Connections

She also points out the crucial element of “relational connections.” 

“That’s relationship with God, relationship with friends, if you have a significant other, pastoral counselor, and mental health professionals. I think that’s where it starts.” 

Relationships are a big part of battle ready faith, according to Tamara Clymer in a recent interview for Fireside Talk Radio.

So often, healing happens when you’re willing to be honest and vulnerable and ask for help, adds Kristin. “That is huge.”

What the Church Can Do

In many ways, mental health is the new frontier in medicine. MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) has changed the way we understand the brain’s functioning. But MRI was only used on humans for the first time in 1977, for heaven’s sake.

Obviously, we don’t always know what is going on with our mental health. Even the best intentioned efforts to help may not work. How silly of us to judge each other over something even doctors are just now exploring thoroughly!

“It’s so taboo, there’s such a stigma in society in general. But, if you’re in the Christian church, you need to have zero worry about what other people will think. Will they think, you know, my faith is weak?” explains Kristin. 

Instead, she guarantees there are more people sitting nearby who are also suffering “who are also scared to speak up.”

Conversational Adventures: God’s Comfort in Our Pain

For now, consider taking Kristin’s first podcast to your next Sunday school class. Kristen did such a great job of describing how dark and alone life can feel. 

With her story, in less than thirty minutes you can convey how awful the dark place feels. Plus, you can begin a new conversation in your church. Perhaps you will be surprised how people respond. Some may even share they, too, are struggling. This is powerful stuff.

These days, Kristen’s articles appear all over the place. Each month, she gets calls out of the blue to speak at conferences all over the country. God is using this mighty, joy-packed woman!

“I never foresaw it,” she laughs. Then, with typical humility, she reminds me her book is taking “eight years to write!” I can’t wait to read the book she finally pulls it together.

But, I can tell you for sure, Kristin is a GREAT writer. I signed up for her blog here.

Joy is One Moment Away

Finally, Kristin and I want you to know, whatever you’re going through, we really care about YOU. If you currently struggle with mental health issues, joy is one moment away. That’s why we want you to have this information. We pray you find community and seek help. 

Just like my beautiful friend Kristin, you too, can find ways to live in the moment, laugh, and live joyfully. And be blessed! That’s our prayer for you, dear one.

🙂

Cathy

May we pray together?

Dear good Father, You love us and stay with us even in the darkest places. Sometimes we don’t even know You’re there. We think You might reject us or forsake us, but You keep loving each of us so much. Unfailing love; that’s Your kind of love. Open our eyes to see Your compassion and mercy in the midst of our circumstances. Help us reach out to others; to be vulnerable and authentic. Give us joy. Strengthen us to claim joy when it seems beyond reach. Give us the courage to reach out and grab the moment’s joys. Teach us to love and laugh with abandon, just like Bethany Grace. And just like Your beautiful Son. In Jesus’s name we pray. Amen.

We LOVE to hear from YOU!

What hilarious things have the kids in your life done this week? When was the last time you took a chance and reached out to someone? How could someone help you today if they only knew?

Up Next

East Texas Writers Guild invited me to talk about how to get the best stories from folks. You know, also called first hand research. If you’re wondering how to get your teenagers, your aging parents, or, hey, your spouse to talk to you, this is your night. You are definitely invited!

Getting the Goods. Respecting Authentic Stories.

Monday, April 11

Tyler Chamber of Commerce, Genecov Room  

6:30 p.m.

On top of that, if you’re thinking of visiting Newcomers now is a good time since I’ll be speaking there on May 13th.

Don’t miss upcoming Fireside Talk Radio guests including my new North Carolina friend Andy Clapp, the marvelous Becky Carpenter, and a surprise from one of my favorite people Lindsey Bell. All coming up this Spring.

Then, just in time for Father’s Day, Dr. Jim McAndrews joins me to talk about, yep, Erectile Disfunction. Talk about a nail biter. I spent both episodes hoping I wouldn’t inadvertently drop one of my infamous double entendres. 

Jim is such a class act. You’re gonna love all the factual, compassionate information he gives us. Perfect for starting a confidential conversation with your spouse.

Thank you for reading and listening to my stuff. And thank you for sharing these amazing heroic people with you friends.

My Books Thank YOU, too!

My books thank you for buying multiples to share with friends and family. Books really hate sitting on the shelf getting dusty. To make it easy for you to order, you can get The Well: the art of drawing out authentic conversations here. This book loves to join friends at Bible studies or book clubs.

Marriage Conversations: from coexisting to cherished is an ambivert, too. This book enjoys a quiet conversation with an introvert, a group of marriage-minded folks, or hanging out with men. I know! Who ever heard of a Marriage Book men like? Find it here. Read the first chapter FREE here.

Cathy Krafve, host of Fireside Talk Radio and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. We welcome your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. 

❤️ Truth with a Texas Twang! ❤️