Don’t give up! That’s the advice James Dill enthusiastically gives to lay leaders, pastors and their families. Founder of Shepherd’s Heart, Pastor James and his wife, Linda, began ministry in the 1970s. He shared one story after another with me in a recent interview for Fireside Talk Radio.
He shares about a small, but beloved church, where they served. No growth. No new interest in Jesus Christ. Weary with struggling, he reached his wit’s end. One afternoon, he walked into the tiny sanctuary and looked out an open window.
“I just began to cry. Very seldom do I get emotional like that,” he recalls. “But the Lord spoke to me gently and told me an exact direction. He shared with me exactly what I needed to do to correct the things that were going wrong with my church and myself.”
Don’t Give Up
Within a year, God blessed the little church and it began to grow quickly. Soon they went from 125 in attendance on Sundays (and nobody accepting Christ) to 1300 in attendance. Each Sunday was a joy-filled celebration as people experienced salvation at the alter of the vibrant, growing congregation.
With so many years of ministry, Pastor James understands the pressure pastors and their families can face. In fact, all families face pressures! (If your family is in need of wisdom and help for your aging parent, click here.)
To all those who work in light of a calling, he says, “Don’t give up!” He sees the interwoven connection between churches and leaders who serve in nonprofits. Healthy leadership in church means healthier communities.
“Probably the highlight (in any calling) is the intervention of Jesus Christ, the Son of God in the times of crisis. It (the Bible) says, ‘In the times of trouble, God will hide us in his pavilion.’
He said, ‘Come unto me all ye that labor and I will give you rest.’ That’s applicable not only to the pastors, but it is applicable to every one that is a born again child of God.
We All Face Discouragement
Anyone who God uses will feel discouraged at times, according to Pastor James. Whether you’re a pastor, writer, mother of small children, wife, it doesn’t matter what your calling is—we all get discouraged! (To hear more about how to handle crisis, find our interview with James’s daughter, Susan Dill Ellsworth: Breast Cancer, What We Wish Our Families Understood with Susan Ellsworth and Breast Cancer, What We Wish Our Families Understood with Susan Ellsworth.)
“There are seasons in your life, all of a sudden you say, ‘Well, God, I’m at my wit’s end.’ And you think, ‘Lord, I don’t know where to turn.’ And the Lord will say, ‘I’m going to take you to the brink and I’m going to be with you always from Matt 28:19.’”
Pastor James, the voice of experience adds, “Those times are growing, but in the growing there are growing pains that we all experience!”
Rest for the Weary
“Probably the greatest season and learning curve was when I became extremely discouraged, reports James. Not willing to give up, “I found somebody who was a key to my success. That was a mentor who mentored me through the process of almost giving up.”
He recalls a time when one man listened with compassion and wisdom as he processed the hurt from his childhood. Free to speak honestly, he was able to share childhood pain, learning to serve others with the same kind of compassion he received from his first mentor. All because a wise pastor took the time to notice and listen.
Mentoring and Supporting Each Other
Trust God to make provision for every need, including someone trustworthy to lean on, says James. (For more on how to overcome and share a journey with depression, find our interview with Colleen Long here about the mindfulness triathlon.)
“God will always provide everyone of us with a mentor, someone to lean upon. Make sure he is a reliable person you can lean on,” says James, “Whenever you meet that person, God will let you know. Then, you need to get with him”
With mentorship in mind, he helped found The Shepherd’s Heart, a ministry devoted to coming alongside Christian leaders. (For more on standing when under attack from the enemy of our souls, see how to develop Platinum Faith with Michelle Medlock Adams.)
Pastors are Always at Risk to Attack
“It’s too risky to be alone in the ministry,” says Fonda Latham, Executive Director of Samaritan Counseling Center of Tyler in a video for The Shepherd’s Heart. “I don’t care how well (pastors) they’re doing, they’re always vulnerable. The world they live in puts them at risk of feeling like they can’t tell what they may be struggling with. The pastors themselves have to be willing to reach out to somebody else. They have to reach out and find someone.” (For more on how divorce can impact Christian families, click here. For victory when suddenly single, click here.)
“Even though you pray to God and he’s wonderful and awesome and the ultimate, some days in our lives we need to grab ahold of something tangible instead of the spirit realm.…You need a shoulder,” says Pastor James.
James’s Tips for Choosing Trustworthy Friends
Choosing a trustworthy person to lean on can be tricky. How do you measure another person’s trustworthiness? What do we look for in a mentor? James offered some tips for noticing when God is providing a shoulder to lean on.
#1 Notice their lifestyle.
“Look at the person’s personal lifestyle,” says James. Is their light shining to honor Jesus Christ?
“God will reveal the person who is genuine.” He warns us to notice signs of untrustworthiness.
#2 Measure their confidentiality.
“Is she or he close enough with me where I can share confidential moments in my life?” James says, noting to be trustworthy, the mentor must keep confidential things private. For instance, when you share something personal expect confidentiality, things can go sideways. “But all of a sudden, it’s all over the business shop, all over the church.”
To avoid embarrassing or destructive situations, he suggest growing the relationship judiciously.
#3 Take the Time Needed to Grow.
Who you suspect God is giving you a new trustworthy friend, possibly a mentor, at the moment when you may need them, proceed judiciously.
“You watch them and they become one of your best friends,” laughs James, “No man is an island. Everyone needs someone they can share with.” He offers a perfect analogy for developing trustworthy friends and mentors.
“Like a cake is in the oven,” he laughs. Trusting God to develop the relationship is part of the process. “You can’t define a person that is your confidant. You just watch by their lifestyle, their kindness, their generosity.”
Upcoming in 2020 for Shepherd’s Heart
Recently, while serving at a board meeting for another nonprofit in our area, Pastor James received powerful encouragement to keep pressing into God’s calling.
“Pastor, that day changed my life forever because I was about ready to throw in the towel,” exclaimed a young doctor when he saw James, “I will never be the same.” The young leader recounted with enthusiasm the way one of The Shepherd’s Heart’s recent events influenced him.
Called Bricks and Mortar the event began as a way to bring together Christian community leaders for a no-holds-barred, soul-baring time. Seasoned pastors shared their experiences openly, shared from their hearts. With authenticity and vulnerability, they talked about the hardest parts of their jobs and then opened the floor for questions. In strict confidentiality, civic leaders opened up with each other about common challenges. Lay leaders and pastors alike sat at tables, learning and sharing together about the obstacles they face daily as they serve God in their various callings.
Meeting Leaders’ Real Needs
With such an enthusiastic reception, James knows The Shepherd’s Heart tapped into a real need leaders feel. He’s excited about plans in 2020. Shepherd’s Heart plans to drill down, bringing together more confident leaders to talk about the things that discourage us all. Encouragement and unity are the inevitable outcomes, as community leaders leave refreshed to fulfill their calling with joy and renewed energy.
“We’re going to have workshops, ministering with classes on dealing with burn out, dealing with depression, and drug or addictive behaviors,” says James. Six new classes emerge, with no cost whatsoever to participants. “We provide everything one needs to come in and enjoy and glean and share with one another.” It’s all about laying up treasures in heaven, according to James, and helping “laymen and pastors be all they can be for Jesus Christ.”
James emphasizes leaders in the community also offer a lot to their home churches, where they often serve as lay leaders. When pastor share authentic stories about what happens behind the scenes in a pastor’s family life, they help educate lay leaders and develop compassion among fellow Christian leaders. Judicious mutual mentoring fosters strong ties throughout a community.
More From Pastor James
Pastor James shared so many stories of his own personal stories, I hope you will click on the podcasts in this blog for more wisdom from this good man of God. But, most of all, he offers encouragement for all of us: Don’t give up!
“Don’t throw in the towel. Look to Jesus the author and finisher of our faith,” he concludes with joy. Whatever we do, keep serving together and encouraging each other!
With the holidays approaching, I want to mention that God knows the family issues you may face. Pastor James shared his true story of forgiving his own dad after many years of separation. Because God called him to forgive, Pastor James had the unique privilege of being there as his dad received Christ.
Pastor James speaks eloquently of the power of forgiveness. If you’re dreading the holidays, this good man’s vulnerable story about his struggle to forgive is sure to inspire and encourage you! Know that our family, too, joins you in asking God to strengthen you for any challenges you face with your won family!
May we pray together?
Dear Father. Sure, you’re trustworthy, but the rest of us, not so much! How do we learn to let go of our pretensions and get real? We turn to you now for the courage to lean on you and lean on each other. As we face tender and trying moments with our families over the holidays, strengthen us, O Lord, to honor you. Teach us to choose trustworthy friends who can join us in faithfully loving others.
Give us grace to be servants who please you, carefully discerning between compassion and codependence. Strengthen us to be people who honor you with tender companionship and compassion for those we love. May we fulfill the calling you’ve for each one of us. Unite us in love for you Son and let unity prevail in our homes, churches, and communities. In Jesus’s name. Amen.
We LOVE to hear from YOU!
When have you felt like giving up? How do you say, Don’t give up to other leaders? What encouragement really hits the spot for you?
For Christmas Giving: Books! Yay!!
Since I promised to share, here are some of my favorite books for Christmas giving. With delight, I sincerely hope this makes your shopping easier! (Nobody pays me for recommendations, these are just some of the ones under my tree this year.)
For Kids:
Want to share the marvel of God’s creation with your grands? Dinosaur Devotions made it into my grandkiddos’ stockings. Filled with dinosaur facts and fun pictures, older kids will love it for independent study. Written with her dinosaur-loving daughter in mind, Michelle Medlock Adams calls this book “a project of the heart.” To add our interview with Michelle to any of your gift books, click here.
For History Lovers and Men Who Love Battle Stories:
Now don’t miss Danny Sessums’s new 2-volume set of fabulous first-source A Force to Be Reckoned With. Also, Dann’s books make a great gift for research-loving writers. With a few clicks you can download Danny’s own personal stories and wisdom on Fireside Talk Radio to include in your gift to a history-loving friend!
For Gals:
For an inspiring devotion, Michelle and Bethany’s book, Platinum Faith: Live Brilliant, Be Resilient, & Know Your Worth. Happily for me, Michelle and I connected through our mutual friends at Elk Lake Publishing. (For more positive insight from other Elk Lake authors, click here.)
Also, remember to look for historic novels from Sandra Melville Hart. For more, click here to find the interview we did together or her mom’s pumpkin pie recipe. As a personal touch to your gift, you can download our interview and include it with any of her entertaining historical fiction.
For more about Catherine’s hallmark-friendly romance books or to discover more fiction and nonfiction from our friends at CrossRiver Media, click here.
I’m wishing you a cuddly Christmas with those you love and a good book!
Cathy Krafve, Columnist, Speaker, Blogger, Podcaster, and Christian Writer, invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.
Trackbacks/Pingbacks