I fell in love with Bobbie Ziemer’s beautiful heart. And with her great courage to pull together a book about Drug Addiction.

If you found this blog because you are struggling with a drug-related crisis in your family, you are not alone.

Each mom. Each beloved child. Their voices tell the whole heart-wrenching story of the drug pandemic sweeping our nation. 

Bobbie’s daughter, Madison, entered into heaven on October 10th, 2017. This month, we are honoring her beautiful memory with two blogs and interviews.

I could see God’s fingerprints all over Bobbie’s book, Not in Vain: Mothers Share their Journey through their Child’s Life and Loss to the Drug Pandemic.

A dear friend offered me a chance to connect with Bobbie and I jumped at the chance. I don’t get paid to present people’s books, I just like reading. I really admire this book and that’s why I invited Bobbie to be on the show. 

Not In Vain

Our two interviews are a small part of what Bobbie is doing to ensure Madison’s death was Not In Vain. And not just Madison, but the many, many kids each year who die in drug-related deaths. 

Please help us by sharing today’s blog with everyone you know. Please look for last week’s blog, too, The Drug Pandemic. Not in Vain: Real Addiction. Real Pain.

“You somewhat expect your child—although you raise them to go to church, to do the right thing, and to make good decisions and choices—to be a better version of yourself. Right?” she begins. 

Our friends at Verizon spotlighted Bobbie and her story in this short, but powerful video.

One and Done

Bobbie says that children are getting offered drugs as early as elementary school now. Even fifth grade!

“Kids will be given miscellaneous pills that are cutter or pressed pills with fentanyl. They take it and that’s it. It’s over,” Bobbie explains. “It doesn’t have to be a long drawn out process of becoming addicted.”

Drug addiction is a spectrum, according to Bobbie. The spectrum can go from one pill ending in instant death to a long drawn out process of years, even decades, of addiction. 

“I just would tell all the parents to definitely sit down with their younger children,” she emphasizes.

Opening the Conversation

She suggests offering an incentive, especially to younger children.

“I’ve even heard of parents giving their child an incentive. ‘If you find a pill, if something doesn’t look right, bring it to me. We’ll give you a reward for finding it,’” Bobbie says, for example. “The kids are young. They want the reward. But it prevents them from accidentally taking something, you know what I mean, that could be their last time.”

While the average age of kids passing away in drug related deaths was 26, Bobbie says it seems to be getting lower all the time. 

“I have some personal friends who have lost a fourteen year old. It’s nothing that you can be overly prepared for,” she says. 

Thankfully, she adds, “The more you know the better your family is gonna be.”

At fourteen, kids aren’t even driving yet! This just breaks my heart. And makes me mad. You don’t expect something like this to come seeking into your life.

One Way to SafeGuard Your Young Children

I asked Bobbie what she suggests to safeguard our families against drug addiction. She told a story of one family who prepared their child by talking about the situation in advance. 

Her friend has an eight year old and knew Bobbie’s story.  

“She said, ‘You know, the weirdest thing happened.’”

Her son was at a slumber party and couldn’t sleep. The hosting mom offered her child a Melatonin. 

“Now a Melatonin is very innocent, right? But again that mother wasn’t even thinking about it. But the child didn’t take it because she had talked to him about NEVER taking anything that anybody gives you,” reports Bobbie. 

If you listen to the podcast, I sound, ahem, well, kinda judge-y as Bobbie tells this story.

I’ll admit it. This story really shocked me and I am not easy to shock!

Offer a kid a pill? What was she thinking!

Make It a Rule

Okay, I get it. For instance, as grandparents we sometimes think we know what’s okay and what isn’t.  

Clearly, no one knows our grandkids medical histories as well as their parents, not even a close grandparent. 

So, make it a rule—None of us should ever offer any kind of pill to any child unless the child clearly knows from mommy and daddy that it’s been approved by the parents.

Personally, I taught my kids to be skeptical about any pills. Just because something is natural means nothing. Hemlock, a well-known poison, is a natural leaf that grows on trees, for heavens sakes! Teach your kiddos to NEVER put anything in their mouth unless you approve.

“But again the child was faced with a decision at 8 years old. Do I take this or do I not? Thankfully, she’d already had that conversation with him,” Bobbie concludes. 

Bobbie’s story shows us how quickly we need to talk to our children. To give them the skills they need to make good decisions. I loved her story even though it scares me a bunch.

Bobbie must refrain from sharing some details about her daughter’s story due to a pending legal process. 

But I found Madison’s story on USA Today. I decided to include the link, in case it helps other families avoid tragedy. All proceeds from her book go back to the families helped by Not In Vain mother’s support. 

Broken Hearted But Not Defeated

“Next most importantly, thank you to all of the mothers who took the time to painfully write and contribute their stories. It’s incredible to see this beautiful act of kindness as those that are brokenhearted standing up to protect a world of strangers in effort to save even a single one from this tragedy.” ~Bobbie Ziemer, from the Acknowledgments in Not in Vain.

If you or anyone you love is suffering, we really want you to find help and encouragement. This pretty much sums up the reason we created these two podcasts, too.

This blog and Fireside Talk Radio are a catapult, not a platform. I feel it is a tremendous privilege to pass along Bobbie’s wisdom where it can reach mothers needing comfort and support. 

In the same way, God is using Bobbie to catapult all these tender stories from moms who lost beloved children. So the rest of us can understand what we’ve lost as a culture with the deaths of all these beautiful young people.

In our family, we lost a beloved young cousin to an overdose. She was a joy-filled bright light in the world and we will always feel her loss.

“You hit on so much of this when you were describing your loved one,” says Bobbie.

Further, she explains drug addiction is not a character flaw.

“They’re still beautiful and artistic and creative. Such a gift to this world. The fact that they died from something they weren’t supposed to die from does not affect their character,” she explains.

Not a Character Flaw

Honestly though, often our perception of that person changes when we find out drug addiction is part of their story.

“I was guilty of this. When I would find out that someone had a drug issue my perception of them was immediately changed,” she confesses. 

She emphasizes drug addiction is a disease. 

“This is not what their family wants for them. It’s especially not what they wasn’t for themselves. They have dreams and aspirations as well.”

For me, the hardest part of drug addiction is all the free-floating self-condemnation. Condemnation will infect all our relationships, if we let it.

“And judgement and shame,’” Bobbie adds. “I didn’t understand everything and I was resentful and angry. But understood that I needed to create purpose through the pain.  

How Can Churches Address the Drug Pandemic?

I asked Bobbie how the church can step up.

“As far a s the church it goes back to the love of God. Not to enable, but to be a soft place for people to fall if they need to.” She suggests churches need to “circle the wagons” around families who need help.

“Especially around addiction, there is a stigma. The church needs to step back and realize that this is till a child of God.”

Bobbie really nailed her wisdom for the church. Jesus loves us while we are yet sinners. In our worst moments when we don’t even love ourselves. When I rejected myself, He still reached out for me. 

I never forget that.

Some of my worst decisions were after I accepted Him as my Savior. Jesus keeps forgiving and comforting without rejection. He keeps strengthening me to do something better with my life. 

That’s the same offer He makes to everyone. He can save anyone. 

Not In Vain

Are you wishing your church could do something about the drug pandemic? Maybe you need help for your own family or another family you love. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed and afraid. 

Think about bringing Not In Vain to your Sunday school class soon. You can pull our podcasts and pair it with the book. Wow! Bobbie’s voice and the stories of 167 moms who’ve lost a child to the drug pandemic. Now that is a powerful combination!

I put her on the spot on air. Could she come to any churches that reach out? 

“I’m in. I feel blessed. I welcome the opportunity,” she replied instantly. To invite Bobbie to your church of conference, just contact me and I can connect you. 

And finally, thank you, Bobbie, for all your commitment to honor sweet Madison and so many others so their lives are Not in Vain! We love your courage and your great big heart! ❤️

May we pray together?

Dear Good Father, all the kids lost to drug addiction breaks our hearts. We look around at all the families affected and we feel overwhelmed. But we know You are present in this pain. Help us be aware of Your comforting, strengthening presence. We panic when it’s our own family and we have no idea which response will help. Help us strengthen each other for this battle. Teach us what we need to know to keep our children’s hearts safely focused on You. Bless our families. For those who do not know You, save us, Oh Lord. Bless us with peace in the storm. Bless us now because that is Your heart’s desire. In Jesus’s name. Amen.

We LOVE to hear from YOU!

Who has said just the right thing when your heart was breaking? How has your church responded with comfort? What do you wish people understood?

🙂

Cathy

Book Bananza Fall 2021

Because we’re bananas about books!

Potpourri, Tyler

Tuesday, November 30th

4:00-7:00p.m.

Shopping and Book Signing! Yay!

❤️Find more about our amazing Authors! Stay tuned for more authors added daily! ❤️

Plus, The Writing Friends Seminar

Pop-up Writing Friends Seminar!! December 2 & 3, from 6:00-9:00 p.m. You must apply to register for this event. Contact me if you’ve always wanted to write a book. We’re bringing together local people who can help YOU!!

Very small. Very personal. Very inexpensive. This is not about money. It’s about getting your message out there. We want you to succeed!

Share a Book, Write a Review

People are telling us they love our books. We’re so happy they are helping. Please consider buying two. One to bless yourself and one to bless someone else! 

Then, help us by writing a review. And THANK YOU!!!!

For Marriage Conversations: https://Amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=1936501562

For The Well:  https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B08M4G1Q6Z

Your Own Upcoming Conversational Adventures

Are you dreaming of your own conversational adventures? Could the right conversation change everything in your life? How can we take a deep breath and step into our fear of rejection?

At Camp Krafve, we’re creating tools to help you pass along bold, noble ideas.

More Favorite Quotes

“Communication is the pathway to companionship. Jesus is the great communicator.” ~from The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations, pg 4.

“You are truly a miracle. Just the atomic substructure in your body boggles comprehension. Then there’s all the DNA and experiences that came together to form the personality you now rock in your uniquely creative and breathtaking way. Plus, your whole spiritual dimension is unfathomable, mysterious, and well, incredibly sexy. What’s not to love! God knows all this about you and loves you like you’re the only person in the universe.” ~Marriage Conversations, From Co-existing to Cherished, page 101

Dipping Nacho Recipe

In case you missed Anna Krafve Pierce’s literacy series on helping your kiddos read, here’s our kid-friendly Camp Krafve Dipping Nachos recipe. Don’t miss all the ways you can entice your children to LOVE books! Plus, find more about how to create a sanctuary in your kitchen for your friends and family. 

We will send it to you as our gift when you subscribe to our blog. Plus, we’ll send FREE goodies each week.

• Interviews with Experts 
• Our blog, 
• Fireside Talk Radio podcasts, 
• Occasional Crafts, 
• Art and Conversation Inspiration, 
• And yes, even a Camp Krafve recipes once in awhile for you and your kiddos! 

ALL FREE! Why? Because we love you!

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Cathy Krafve, host of Fireside Talk Radio and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. We welcome your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang!