No one wants to get on anyone else’s nerves and we all know single moms need help. How, then, do we offer help to each other in a way that does not impose on other families? For wisdom on this topic, I turn to a dear friend, Betsy Brush Hahn.
Life is Better Together
I first met Betsy through Women’s Fund. I like Women’s Fund because it allows middle-class gals like me to be big-giving philanthropists. How? By bringing together lots of generous women to pool our resources. At Women’s Fund events, I get to sit next to dynamic, talented, professional women, like my friend Betsy. Imagine my delight when I got a note from her.
She sent along a little down-home wisdom to share with other moms. Plus, the blessing of good questions we all face together, particularly about how to make life a little easier for any single mom we love. As usual, Betsy jumps right to the tough stuff, like, ahem, sex.
No Dumb Questions Here
#1 How can moms talk to boys about sex, relationships, and virtually anythings else? “How do we navigate our sons’ short answers?” writes Betsy, with typical humor, “I want to use few words because that’s his communication mode, but I don’t want to leave anything out!” I laughed when I read this one because every mom faces this complication. Single moms may be encouraged simply knowing that over-talking is a doozy all moms face, even when there’s a dad at home.
Good This Fall, Outdated By Spring
#2 As moms, how do we adjust our expectations? “I recommend regular audits of what’s working and what’s not. The big goals stay the same,” she says. “but, what worked in the fall may be outdated by spring.” Letting go of comfortable routines to move forward can be helpful, according to Betsy; changes let your children know they’re allowed to grow up and become independent.
#3 How can single moms encourage and promote male relationships and role models for their sons? “Single moms can feel like a burden on ‘whole families,’” writes Betsy. She really hit the nail on the head here. All families want to be included in fun activities because we all need fellowship.
“There are many reasons, but families with only one parent are often left out or even outright rejected,” Betsy adds.
Rejection is Serious
I’m so glad she brought up rejection. No one wants to get on everyone else’s nerves. We’re all tempted in the moment sometimes to reject anyone who seems needy. Rejecting others is a form of brutality. On the other hand, moms can inspire their kids to accept others and offer a passing word of kindness. Because fatherless homes create crisis in our culture, I like sharing ideas on how moms can inspire the right kind of leadership in their sons without any male role modeling at all. Please send any ideas you like. God has not left us powerless, no matter our situation.
The Man Guide to Proverbs 31
For instance, Proverbs 31 is a classic approach to how God wants women to raise sons who are good husbands and leaders, even when their father fails. Clearly, Proverbs 31 is God’s wisdom from a mom to her son, on leadership for his nation and his family.
Okay, I just realized I haven’t done anything on Proverbs 31 in a while, so watch for column entitled, The Man Guide to Proverbs 31. Betsy sent me so much good stuff, I’m saving one of her best points for that column. More adventures to come!
May I pray for you?
Dear Father and Gracious King of all Creation, You have not left us powerless. For this we praise You! Even when we feel discouraged and overwhelmed, You bring others into our life to strengthen us with a kind word. Help us, O Lord to be the parents You intended us to be. Thank You for the gift of children. Help us treat them with the compassion and patience You extend to us. Help us watch for those judicious friends who will embrace our family just as it is. Give us joy and companionship in our parenting, with fortitude. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
We love to hear from you….
Betsy also sent along this fabulous question to ponder: #4 How do we continue to root teens in “the Word Daily”? I love that one so much, I’m asking for your help. Any ideas? What’s working at your house?
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Cathy Krafve, Texas Author, Columnist, Speaker, and Radio Host, focusing on fellowship in Marriage, Family, and Community, invites your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com. Truth with a Texas Twang.
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