One of our favorite ways to teach kids discernment is through storytelling. Plus, Anna and I know from personal experience that stories unite families.
Social media is swamping us with stories. False? True? Who knows?
However, teaching our children to tell stories allows them to listen to other people’s stories with enthusiasm and compassion. But, better yet, it also trains them in discernment.
Camp Krafve Definition of Discernment—The ability to process wisely all the information coming at us.
Storytelling and Family
We used to beg my dad to tell family stories. Now we are repeating those hilarious, sometimes tender, stories to another generation.
This podcast is the second in our Podcast Summer Series, created especially for YOU! So sit back and enjoy a little laughter and a break from the summer heat.
Story-telling for the Win
The suspense, laughter, and rhythm of family stories never gets old.
We easily teach our kids to be influential, simply by sharing family stories. If you practice telling family stories, your children will gain:
- the ability to communicate in an engaging way,
- a love for family,
- a respect for history, especially family history,
- respect for other’s family stories,
- a love for humor and laughter,
- an ability to move from victimhood to power,
- preparation for reading,
- the ability to ask good questions,
- perspective to see past low points in life,
- and so much more.
We’ve got nothing to lose and our kids will be the winners.
Storytelling has Rhythm
“The idea of rhythm intrigues me. The fact that it is both a very definite thing, like in a song where the theme repeats itself very quickly. And it’s also a very slow thing, like with seasons.”
Haven’t we all listened a small child tell and story with this thought? When will it end?
“I love when my kids start a story. I love to ask them questions. ‘Is it going to have a strong ending? Am I going to be excited to hear the ending?’ That gets them thinking about the ending so it doesn’t go on forever. And they don’t repeat themselves too many times,” she laughs.
Yet, all stories, even the, ahem, longer versions, have a rhythm that mesmerize small children the same way hymns and poems do. Plus, there’s rhythm in the way they ask for the same story over and over.
“For a little while in our life, they’ll ask for the same story every day. Or two or three times a day. Because they just heard it from us and its’ interesting and engages them in something.
Repetition gives you lots of chances to plant the same seeds of truth often!
The Power of Good Storytelling
One dear neighbor told stories to our kids often. Anna credits him with teaching her how powerful storytelling skills can be with young people.
“He would tell us stories about creatures. It’s how I learned to like snakes. And appreciate turtles. And understand how the natural world around me functioned,” remembers Anna, “We would ask him for the same stories over and over again, the same little vignettes that he made up, explaining to us how creatures worked.”
She remembers the one he told about snakes in particular.
“He talked about the water snakes, not poisonous ones, swimming in circles around a full moon. I still don’t know if it’s true or if his storytelling skills are just that engaging. But I quit being afraid of harmless snakes,” she laughs.
I loved it whenever he told that story. I confess, his stories broke me of my fear of snakes, too, and I was a grown up!
Collecting Family Stories
Just like mommas and teachers, kids need a break, too, especially active boys who hate to sit still.
Maybe you can hardly get one of your children to read a book, but can that kid can tell a story! Of course, summer is the perfect time to encourage their natural verbal and mental abilities.
Why not record one of their stories? Or write their story down for them as they tell it. Anna and I also like homemade scrapbooks for teaching children to to tell stories. As a bonus, personal scrapbooks also teach children to sequence and read.
And don’t forget to get the grandparents on video telling family oral histories.
Family stories help develop a love of family. Children learn to respect for the things the elders went through. But family stories also teach your children the rhythm of storytelling. What a great skill to pass on!
“I love the idea that my grandparents told me stories about their childhood or about their parents. They were much older than me. They were family stories, but their stories also bridged an age gap. It’s really cool,” adds Anna.
Family Storytelling Teaches Perspective
“My grandparents used to laugh at themselves when they would tell us stories about their past. Because it no longer affected their immediate life they could see it in a broader perspective,” says Anna.
When life is falling apart, a broader perspective helps us weather a crisis moment, according to Anna.
Is she really saying telling our children family stories can actually help them cope with trauma and crisis? Can teaching our kids story-telling skills help their mental health over a lifetime, combatting even depression and anxiety? You bet!
I like what Brene Brown says about storytelling.
“We’re wired for story. In a culture of scarcity and perfectionism, there’s a surprisingly simple reason we want to own, integrate, and share our stories of struggle. We do this because we feel the most alive when we’re connecting with others and being brave with our stories – it’s in our biology.” ~Brené Brown, Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.
Different Families, Different Stories
Anna likes the way the story-telling differs from family to family. Take, for instance, the way our family tells stories and the way her husband’s family does.
“It’s going to be them laughing about a recent thing, the unexpected. Laughing at themselves,” she says, adding, “And they taught me to identify the low point of a day or a trip or a week or a month or a year. Because if you identify the low point, then it is a moment. And it doesn’t have to define the next moment.”
Heroes in Their Own Storytelling
We must teach our kids that our stories all have low points. That’s what I liked about the way my parents told a story. Life was never perfect, but often funny. With laughter and tears, their stories taught us to persevere.
Stories don’t have to be perfect to be hilarious. Perfection is overrated. I loved what Tammy Whitehurst said in our podcast, Perfection Ain’t Pretty.
We all want our kids to feel like they are the hero of their own story.
Our Kids and Storytelling
To teach your children to be great story-tellers, Anna suggests starting by teaching the meaning of their own name.
“Each of my names has meaning for me because I was told the story of my name,” she says. We picked her names based on the strong women in our family. She adds a few more tips:
#1 Be patient.
They are learning, so their stories and made-up songs often taper off without a punchline, according to Anna.
#2 Is it your story to tell?
When you ask this question, you help your child distinguish between gossip and sharing truth from their own lives, according to Anna. (BTW, she says we can tell other people’s stories, if we have their permission.)
#3 Who is the hero of the story?
This question helps them learn to describe the hero.
From there, you can get into the the nuances of what makes someone heroic, according to Anna.
#4 Savor the Coming Victory.
Teach your kids to recognize the low point so they can anticipate the story’s climax. Sometimes life just does not go the way we want. Anna loves teaching kids to go from the low point to the climax and victory beyond.
Discernment, Truth, and Story-telling
When it comes to storytelling, lying is a nightmare for good parents. Especially with youngsters, sometimes it’s hard to tell where the truth ends and the imagination kicks in.
“You don’t want to accuse your kids of lying, falsely accuse them. But then you also need to hold them accountable to say what is true, “ says Anna. “Storytelling is a great vehicle for teaching your kids to seek truth.”
Anna keeps it simple with her kids to help them discern the boundaries.
“You can tell me what really happened to this little boy that he shared with you. And then you could say, ‘Mama, I’m going to be inspired by that and here’s the story I want to tell you,”’ she instructs her kids, for example.
First they give you the proper context. Then, they can tell you either version of the story, but both stories are true in context. As a result, your kids are sharing something interesting that you want to hear and can truly enjoy, according to Anna.
We need discernment in what we see and what we hear and what we believe.” ~Charles R. Swindoll
I love the idea of applying discernment—is it false or is it true— to our kids’ storytelling.
God Directs the Path
Every writer I’ve known always prays God will give them discernment as they put words on paper.
“It’s the same with painting,” says Anna, adding, “All stories have a path; they all have a direction. If you let God be the One who fills your heart with wisdom and directs your path, that’s storytelling and discernment all bundled up into a beautiful true proverb.”
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6, NKJV
We LOVE to Hear From YOU!
Which of your kids’ stories makes you laugh every time? If you could rewrite a story from your past, which one would it be and why? Today, which family story could you share with your kids to give them confidence and discernment?
May we pray together?
Dear good Father, You are the Master Storyteller, the One who rewrote history by sending Your Son. We want to be the same kind of gentle, compassionate communicator that we see in the New testament as we read the true stories about Him. Help us find the tender, the dramatic, the poignant, the piercing truth in Your Word. Make us people who live the truth. Teach us to love Your story. And to pass our love of You onto our kids and grandkids. Bless us now because that is Your heart’s desire. In Jesus’s name. Amen.
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Cathy Krafve, host of Fireside Talk Radio and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. We welcome your stories, ideas, and questions at CathyKrafve.com.
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