Sometimes God just blesses me with a little delightful surprise. For no reason, like maybe He loves me or something. I hope you know exactly what I mean! Today’s Gardening and Texas Heat is just such an example of God’s goodness!
Like me, you’ve probably been praying God will keep your plants alive in this heat! For me, it’s the Japanese maples and the magnolias. I gave up on vegetables after we harvested pumpkins in July!
Texas Gardening and Heat: Perfect Analogy for Parenting
Imagine me reading along, laughing with pleasure at this devotional about gardening for parents from Miles Pike and his wife, and Martha.
Texas gardening in the heat makes such an insightful comparison to the wears and tears of parenting. Yep, with 100+ temps all this summer, my yard looks worn out and frazzled. Great analogy.
Then, at the end, I discovered our Fireside Talk Radio interviews! (I really loved what Miles said on FTR about uniting with your spouse to inspire your children through music!)
What a nice surprise! Life just doesn’t get much better than that! Even when the heat’s turned up!
Naturally, I emailed Miles and asked if I could share his devotional here. More from Miles and Mar.
❤️
Miles & Mar’s Devotional – Volume XXXX
Over our twelve years of marriage, the two of us have become gardeners. Gardeners in the English sense to be clear, not so much in the Texas sense. I’ll never forget going to England and hearing parents talk with concern about the absolute necessity of helping their children as they moved into their new home.
Not help them move in, you understand. Help them “sort out the garden.” Because (apparently) you can live with unpacked boxes in the home, but you cannot live without some plants to tend (I absolutely agree, for the record.).
Texas Gardening with a Capital G
Of course, when we talk about gardening here in Texas, people immediately ask what we grow, expecting to hear broccoli, cabbage, and taters. And, if they ask in June through September, as the Death Star assumes its position directly over our state, they’re asking what we grow as they envision a Texas gardener — the sweat soaked, sun scorched, bent but not broken figure obstinately watering plants, picking hornworms off their tomatoes, and suffering the irritation of okra’s antagonistic leaves, while all other people scuttle into whatever air conditioned shelter they can find and complain about how hot it is.
So when we’re asked here in Texas what we grow, and we enthusiastically begin to talk about our petunias and our roses and our chaste trees and our almond verbena that smells so good… well, I’m pretty sure we get downgraded from (G)ardeners to (g)ardeners in the minds of the people we’re talking to. Not that I’m complaining. I ain’t picking any hornworms off anything, and anybody that is deserves a capital G.
I do think though, that the experience of gardening, whether you’re a (G)ardener or a (g)ardener, teaches the same lessons.
- 1. It’s never going to be perfect.
- 2. Every little effort counts.
- 3. A little regular effort reaps far greater rewards than a back breaking twice annual marathon.
Parenting Parallels Gardening
The parallels between raising plants and raising people seem pretty clear to me, as both a parent and a gardener.
- 1. It’s never going to be perfect.
- 2. Every little effort counts.
- 3. A little regular effort reaps great rewards.
Like Texas Gardening, Fathering Looks Hard
I think perhaps fathers don’t father their children for the same reason that people don’t garden. “I don’t know what to do and it looks hard.”
Well, unlike gardening, fathering is not optional in God’s eyes (Well… that’s actually arguable, since God is a gardener — see Genesis 2:8 “The Lord God planted a garden in Eden…” — and we are commanded to imitate God… but I won’t push that point too hard.). So since parenting is not optional, here’s the Word on what fathers are supposed to do. (This is a calling for grandfathers too. See Deuteronomy 4:9.)
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children to anger; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” ~Ephesians 6:4
#1 Don’t Exasperate Your Children
1. Don’t exasperate your children. In gardening terms, there are a lot of things I can do to exasperate my plants. And the thing is, each plant is different. One plant is exasperated by too much water. Another plant is exasperated by not living in a swamp. This plant likes compacted soil, likes being walked on. This plant wants loamy, friable (I love the words there are to describe different kinds and qualities of dirt) soil. This one wants sun, but this one prefers shade. This one likes being talked to, but this one is a loner. So the thing is, if you’re not going to provoke your kids, you have to take the time to know what provokes them. Otherwise, you may have the best of intentions, but you’re watering a desert plant. You’re fertilizing a plant that wants a lean soil.
#2 Train Them in the Lord’s Way
2. Train them in the Lord’s way. In any garden, no plant exists in a vacuum. There are other plants around to consider, and then there’s the overall garden to consider. My almond verbena dies to the ground every year, and every year, grows back into a 15 foot tall monstrosity that will completely grow over the garden path if it is allowed to do so. Children have to be trained how to behave in a world that does not revolve around them. More than that, they have to be trained how to behave in this world in a way that pleases the Lord. They have to be taught, more than “do no harm to thy neighbor,” to “love thy neighbor.” More than “be nice,” they have to be taught “be kind to one another… honor everyone.”
#3 Instruct Them in the Lord’s Way
3. Instruct them in the Lord’s way. In my personal opinion, this is the most disregarded portion of this passage. It’s also the portion that has no gardening illustration. You can exasperate plants, pets, and people. You can train plants, pets and people. But you can only instruct people.
I think maybe fathers fall short here because the other two commands pretty well flow out of just living with your children. Love comes fairly naturally to parents, therefore you, fairly naturally, try not to exasperate your children. You live with them, therefore you, naturally, try to make them pleasant to live with. You train them not to hit or bite. You train them to say “Please” and “Thank you.” These things come naturally to parents. In merely human terms, if you keep from exasperating and if you train them, you’re doing well.
But how?
But what is it to instruct them in the Lord? How are fathers to do this? This is where the gospel comes in. This is where doctrine comes in. This is the “why” behind the “training in the Lord.”
We’re going to look more in depth at how and what fathers and grandfathers are to instruct their offspring next time. If you would like to read ahead a little, then feel free to listen to these two podcast episodes in which I discuss some of these issues in a more free form way.
Fireside Talk Radio – Part One (Find the blog: How a Life Mission Unites: Finding Harmony in Marriage)
Fireside Talk Radio – Part Two (Find the blog: Inspiring Through Music: Winning the Heart of Your Child)
In the meantime, if you’re a non-gardener looking into an unkempt jungle, start at the beginning. Get to know your plants. Do your homework. Experiment. If you know your plants, but they’re taking over the garden…remember, it’s not going to be perfect. But with God’s blessing, every effort counts. And a little regular effort reaps great rewards.
Keep after it.
Miles & Martha
❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Miles and Music
You can find more of his writing here. Or sign up.
Of course, I’ve heard Miles in concert. He’s every bit as funny and insightful in person as he is talented as a musician on his recordings. You can find his concert tour schedule or book a concert for your church or event here. Please pray for them as they figure out life on the road with an expanding family.
I loved this so much, I went back and pulled some other quotes from Miles. Find them after today’s prayer.
🙂
cathy
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Which song from your childhood still inspires you? What’s growing in your garden this year? How can our family pray for yours?
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May we pray together?
Dear good Father, We love You so much. Sometimes we have a hard time believing You could work so hard just to grow us up into mature people. Then, on top of all the blessing You give, You also let some of us raise children, too. What a wonder! The best of miracles. Bless Miles and Martha as they minister to others and to their growing family. Protect them, strengthen, and use them, O Lord. Give us patience and perseverance for parenting, O Lord. Comport those waiting for children. We know Your father heart is beyond our imagination. Fill us with Your beautiful Spirit, so we can honor You in our families. Teach us to be as unfailing in our love as You are. Bless us now because that is Your heart’s desire. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
More Favorite Quotes from Miles
“One thing that’s kind of unique with both of us; for me I never thought I’d get married because I didn’t think I would meet anyone who met my requirements. And also, just a godly person and somebody I could envision being cooped up in a vehicle for tens of thousands of miles.” ~Miles Pike, from How a Life Mission Unites: Finding Harmony in Marriage
“For me the irony of me being legally blind is it was love at first sight.“ ~Miles Pike, from How a Life Mission Unites: Finding Harmony in Marriage
Some of Miles’s Favorite Resources For Inspiring Kids
- New City Catechism – Tim Keller
- Truth And Grace – Thomas Ascol – Founders Press
- Steve Green – Hide’em In Your Heart 1 & 2
- Michael Card
- Gettys Kids Hymnal
- Metrical Psalter – Julie & Timothy Tennent
- The Miles Pike Podcast
Cathy Krafve, host of Fireside Talk Radio and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. Your stories, ideas, and questions welcomed here!
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