The words we choose prove whether we prefer cowardly or courageous ideas. How do we, like our forefathers, embolden our children with noble ideas? For a perfect example, should we use the term racism vs. prejudice?
Lately, I question the sincerity of leaders who say they want to unite us. The labels they choose clarifies their true motives. Especially among politicians and pundits. (Find more on how stereotyping divides us.)
Just for you, I edited today’s blog so it would read smoothly. But you can read the whole thing in context in my book, The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations, starting on page 167. (Order two copies here; one for you and one to share with a friend.)
Cultural Prejudices
Often, cultural prejudices keep us tied to unhealthy ways of looking at life. If only we could shake off all the labels.
Labels, like racism, stop progress in its tracks. For example, in east Texas, many people still subconsciously self-segregate along racial lines. Obviously, work and school bring people from all ethnicities together.
Unfortunately, Sunday morning church services are often a different story. (Watch here for an upcoming blog about the advantages historically black churches offer everyone, especially white folks.)
In 1960, Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “I think it is one of the tragedies of our nation, one of the shameful tragedies, that eleven o’clock on Sunday morning is one of the most segregated hours, if not the most segregated hours, in Christian America.”
In East Texas, there’s still a lot of truth to his observation. For many reasons, not every church, but many, still tend to divide along racial lines. We even say, “black church” and “white church.”
Fortunately, churches are gradually attempting to shake off these cultural prejudices and finding ways to pull down the entrenched racial barriers in our region. Progress is made each Sunday as courageous people cross traditional cultural barriers to claim unity.
It’s slow going, though. The way we talk about the race gap makes it more difficult to cross. If only we chose words which could celebrate freedom and room for growth.
Prejudice or Biased Racism?
For instance, I miss the word prejudice. We heard that word all the time in the 60s and 70s.
The word often implied someone had an irrational antipathy toward people of another ethnic background. In fact, we all suffer from preconceived ideas.
Sadly, the word prejudice has been replaced by more sinister words today. People commonly use the term racism or racist now. Biased is another common term. Words matter, and here’s a great example of why. The words racist or biased convey a finite, permanent label, as if change is impossible.
Prejudice Allows Room for Education
In contrast, the word prejudice means to pre-judge, implying an assessment is made without enough information. Therefore, add education and the assessment can be reexamined for a more judicious conclusion. Prejudice, by its definition, can change to enlightenment with the addition of knowledge and wisdom.
Prejudice is closely related to the word judicious, sharing the root idea of judgment. Unlike prejudice, the word judicious conveys the idea people can ponder, absorb new information, and, therefore, live wisely.
Cultural Confusion: We’re Not the Only Ones Confused
In a similar example, the disciples experienced confusion because of their cultural prejudice about the status of women. (Find more about he status of women in my book, Marriage Conversations: From Coexisting to Cherished.)
To their credit, rather than locking into a bias, we know they began to process a new perception.
In fact, their humorous account of the events sheds light on how humble Jesus’s disciples really were. With a wink at their own confusion, they share how befuddled they were.
I picture them bumbling around like the three stooges. Who brought Him dinner? What bread? How did He get food we don’t know about? It might be easy to miss the humor here if we’ve never seen Abbott and Costello’s Who’s on First gag.
Oh, to be like Jesus, simply free to ignore other people’s bewilderment as we go about our lives in companionship and peace. And to be like the disciples, able to laugh later about our silly ideas.
The disciples don’t question Jesus’s reasoning for doing something so out of the ordinary for their culture. Talk to a woman, for heaven’s sakes!
They simply trust Him. They know from experience He will explain later, if necessary. His credibility and integrity are palpable in the way His disciples remain silent as their own prejudice is challenged.
Brave and Noble
We know the disciples got the message because of the way they later recorded this account. As far as we know, Jesus never addressed their concerns at all. His actions toward the woman communicated enough. He felt no need to grab a teaching opportunity to talk about the valued status of women. Even as He rested at the well, Jesus’s conversation with the woman communicated brave and noble ideas.
Notably for us, there are two primary ways we teach our children to be brave and noble: through words or through actions. Sometimes a combination of both is imperative. When we combine brave and noble ideas with actions and words, even resting mode becomes a powerful method for conveying truth to our kids.
I still believe in the power of well-chosen words to drive home truth—telling a story or picking up a handy visual aid. But oh, how glorious for a young parent to give yourself a break and simply rest.
Unchaining Ourselves
Unchaining ourselves from unhealthy prejudices takes fortitude and integrity. There are plenty of times with our children when doing something out of the ordinary—something brave and noble—frees them to grasp truth. Fortunately, though, having done the hard work, we don’t always have to talk about it afterwards. Those courageous moments don’t require any extra explanation.
As a parent, I was relieved to discover my kiddos could process information just fine without my help and often did, thank you very much! What a blessing to rest and trust God’s Spirit to reveal truth to them in their own hearts.
For some, looking to Jesus is the best healing option when it comes to parenting our children to be brave and noble. For others, we can look to our own earthly fathers for hints.
Community Change At It’s Finest
Observing young couples in love gives us only a dim image of the exuberant, celebratory love God has for us. In fact, his Son is called the bridegroom (John 3:29). There is no better companion than Jesus if we want to experience a lifetime of sacrificial, devoted love.
Jesus’ love is contagious. The woman grows confident in Jesus’ presence as they talk at the well.
Filled with excitement, the woman dashes off to influence her whole community. I can easily imagine Jesus taking a deep breath and smiling with satisfaction. He rested as his disciples tended to him. His greatest desire was already in motion. Having shared his most sacred truth, I am He, he now has the pleasure of seeing her response.
We hold our breath as the drama comes to a crescendo in this captivating story. We could easily write the script for the television teaser for the next episode. How will her newfound passion play out? Can she hide from her past? Will her community leaders respond to her or reject her message?
Jesus may be taking a breather, but the story is moving ahead in high drama. This woman now adopts a couple of Jesus’s own strategies for appealing to her community’s leaders: 1. sharing her own sacred story, and 2. asking a good question. She brings an invitation to her leaders.
Words matter. Choose wisely.
In this season of American history, we’re inviting leaders to rethink how they divide us. How we divide ourselves. American citizens can make brave and noble choices. (Sign up for our FREE interviews, podcasts and blogs.)
For example, pay close attention to the words politicians choose. Are they locking people into a bias with the label racist? Or are they inviting people to unite by respecting the many perspectives brought together under the motto, One Nation Under God.
Sometimes, the best thing is simply to sit down and talk. Take a quiet moment and rest together. Like Jesus did with the woman at the well.
Upcoming Fun
Anna and I have been working behind the scenes to bring you some great stuff just in time for back to school. Yep, we are tackling literacy with all our creative, book-loving passion. (Find more for the flashlight readers at your house.)
Naturally, my favorite educator does not disappoint! Anna’s easy, fun ideas entice even your most reading-averse child to stick their nose in a good book! (Find podcasts on inspiring creative kids.)
Know We LOVE YOU!
Most of all, please know that we love you. No matter how different we may be.
If you’re not a Christian, I love you even more. Yep, people may think that’s impossible, but it happens all the time.
If you are a Christian, I hope you find something here to share. Something that gives good words to a message you believe.
If you’re an American, I hope you find a wee bit of history every now and then that makes you love your country more.
Not an American or not a Texan? Maybe you’ll get a little glimpse of why I love my place in the grand scheme of ethnic variety.
Certainly, I love sharing with you. I think YOUR life matters a lot.
🙂
Cathy
We LOVE to hear from YOU!
When has a label broken your heart? In what ways are you breaking down self-imposed barriers? How are you honoring God’s gift of our freedom?
May we pray together?
Dear good Father, You created the world with a spoken word. Your words are so powerful, they change everything! Especially hearts. Oh, to be mighty in understanding the messages You want us to share! Teach us to love Your word. Open our hearts to love like you love, relishing in the variety You created. We love the free will You chose for our own heart, yet often forget to extend the same respect to others. Help us know when to rest and when to speak up. Give us the conversations we need. Help us remember that prayer is nothing but an ongoing conversation with You. We love You, O good God. Bless us now because that’s Your heart’s desire. In His mighty name we pray. Amen.
Conversational Adventures
Our culture needs more people to be bold with noble ideas. That means conversational adventures. It means we must take a deep breath and step into our fear.
At Camp Krafve, we’re creating tools to help you pass along bold, noble ideas.
Share a Book, Write a Review
Lastly, please share our books with a friend. To make it easy to write a review on Amazon, here are the links:
For Marriage Conversations: https://Amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=1936501562
For The Well: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B08M4G1Q6Z
Cathy Krafve, speaker, host of Fireside Talk Radio, and author of The Well: The Art of Drawing Out Authentic Conversations and Marriage Conversation: From Coexisting to Cherished. We invite you to join the Fireside Tribe. Truth with a Texas Twang
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